Eminem

Тексты Eminem'a

"Infinite"

Infinite

WEGO

It's OK

313

Tonight

Maxine

Open Mic

Never Too Far

Searchin'

Backstabber

Jealousy Woes II

Infinite

Oh yeah, this is Eminem baby, back up in that motherfucking ass
One time for your mother fucking mind, we represent the 313
You know what I'm saying?, cause they don't know shit about this
For the 9-6

Verse 1:
Ayo, my pen and paper cause a chain reaction
To get your brain relaxin, cause they be actin maniac in action
A brainiac in fact son, you mainly lack attraction
You looking zany whack with just a fraction of my tracks spun
My rhyming skills got you climbing hills
I travel through your mind until you spine like siren drills
I'm sliming grills of roaches, with sprayed on disinfectants
With some ex rappers till their spinal column disconnects
We disinfect then check the monologue, turn your system up
Twist them up, and indulge in the marijuana smoke
This is the season for noise pollution contamination
Examination of more cartoons than animation
My lamination of narration
Hit's a snare and bass of track fucked up rapper interrogation
When I declare invasion, there ain't no time to be stare and gazing
I turn the stage into a barren wasteland...
I'm Infinite

Chorus:
You heard of hell well I was sent from it
I went to it's surface and sentenced for murdering instruments
Now I'm trying to repent from it
But when I hear the beat I'm tempted to make another attempt at it...
I'm Infinite

Verse 2
Bust it, I let the beat commence so I can beat the sense of your elite defense
I got to meet the fence fruit was stompin at your feet to rinse
I greet intensive ladies, I spoil all your fans
I foil plans and leave fluids leaking like oil bands
My coil hands around this microphone lethal
One thought in my cerebral is deeper then a Jeep full of people
MC's are feeble, I came to cause some pandemonium
Battle a band of phony MC's and stand the only one
Imitator, Intimidator, Stimulator, Simulator of data, Eliminator
There's never been a greater since the burial of Jesus
Fuck around and catch all of the venereal diseases
My thesis will smash a stereo to pieces
My accapella releases plastic masterpieces through telekinesis
And eases you mentally, gently, sentimentally, instrumentally
With entity, dementedly meant to be Infinite

Chorus:
You heard of hell well I was sent from it
I went to it's surface and sentenced for murdering instruments
Now I'm trying to repent from it
But when I hear the beat I'm tempted to make another attempt at it...
I'm Infinite

Verse 3:
Man I got evidence I'm never dense and I been clever ever since
My residence was hesitant to do some shit that represents the M-O
So I'm assuming all responsibility
Cause there's a monster will in me that always wants to kill MC's
Mic messaler, slamming like a wrestler
Here to make a mess of a lyric smuggling embezzler
No one is speacialer, My skill is intergalactical
I get cynical at a fool then I send a crew back to school
I never packed a tool or acted cool, it wasn't practical
I'd rather led a tactful, tractical, track for your fancy
In fact I can't see, or can't imagine
A man who ain't a lover of beats or a fan of scratching
This is for my family, the kid who had a cameo on my last jam
Plus the man who never had a plan B
Be all you can be, cause once you make an instant hit
I'm tense to be tempted when I see the sins my friends commit...
I'm Infinite

Chorus:
You heard of hell well I was sent from it
I went to it's surface and sentenced for murdering instruments
Now I'm trying to repent from it
But when I hear the beat I'm tempted to make another attempt at it...
I'm Infinite
You heard of hell well I was sent from it
I went to it's surface and sentenced for murdering instruments
Now I'm trying to repent from it
But when I hear the beat I'm tempted to make another attempt at it...
I'm Infinite


W.E.G.O. [Interlude]
Performed by: Proof & DJ Head

[Proof]

Here's Soul Intent checkin' in at number one baby, this week.
Know what I'm sayin'? This is MC Proof.
[Head: And DJ Head!]
Checkin' in on W.E.G.O, know what I'm sayin?
Ayo, we got the number one requested song of the day comin' up next.
He's a local 313 talent, he goes by the name of Eminem, and it's called "It's Ok".
[END]

It's OK

Eye-Kyu: Check it out
Eminem: Hey Kyu!

Eye-Kyu:
Chorus: It's a broke day but everything is ok (It's ok)
I'm up all night, but everything is alright (It's alright)
It's a rough week, and I don't get enough sleep (I can't sleep)
It's a long year pretending I belong here (Belong here)
It's a broke day but everything is ok (It's ok)
I'm up all night, but everything is alright (It's alright)
It's a rough week, and I don't get enough sleep (I can't sleep)
It's a long year pretending I belong here (Belong here)

Verse 1: Eminem
One day I plan to be a family man happily married
I wanna grow to be so old that I have to be carried
Till I'm glad to be buried
And leave this crazy world
And have at least a half a million for my baby girl
It may be early to be planning this stuff
Cause I'm still struggling hard to be the man, and it's tough
Cause man it's been rough, but still I manage enough
I've been taken advantage of, damaged and scuffed
My hands have been cuffed
But I don't panic and huff, frantic and puff
Or plan to give up, the minute shit hits the fan it erupts
I'm anteing up double or nothing, I've been trouble enough
And I'm sick of struggling and suffering, see
My destiny's to rest at ease, till I'm impressed and pleased
With my progress, I won't settle for less than cheese
I'm on a quest to seize all, my own label to call
Way before my baby is able to crawl
I'm too stable to fall, the pressure motivates
To know I hold the weight of boulders on my shoulder blades
I seen the golden gates to heaven on Earth
Where they don't pull a weapon on you when you stepping on turf, Q

Eye-Kyu:
Chorus: It's a broke day but everything is ok (It's ok)
I'm up all night, but everything is alright (It's alright)
It's a rough week, and I don't get enough sleep (I can't sleep)
It's a long year pretending I belong here (Belong here)
It's a broke day but everything is ok (It's ok)
I'm up all night, but everything is alright (It's alright)
It's a rough week, and I don't get enough sleep (I can't sleep)
It's a long year pretending I belong here (Belong here)

Verse 2: Eminem
I'm going for broke, gambling and playing for keeps
Everyday in the streets, scrambling and paying for cheep
Praying for sleep
Dreaming with a watering mouth
Wishing for a better life for my daughter and spouse
In this slaughtering house, caught up in bouts
With the root of all evil
I've seen it turn beautiful people crude and deceitful
And make them do shit illegal
For these Grant's and Jackson's
These transactions explain a man's actions
But in the mist of this insanity, I found my Christianity
Through God and there's a wish he granted me
He showed me how to cope with the stress
And hope for the best, instead of mope and depressed
Always groping a mess, of flying over the nest
To selling dope with the rest
I quit smoking cess to open my chest
Life is stressful inside this cesspool
Trying to wrestle, I almost bust a blood vessel
My little brother's trying to learn his mathematics
He's asthmatic, running home from school away from crack addicts
Kids attract static, children with automatics
Taking target practice on teens for Starter Jackets
I'm using smarter tactics to overcome this slum
I won't become as dumb as some and succumb to scum
It's cumbersome, I'm trying to do well on this Earth
But it's been Hell on this Earth since I fell on this Earth

Eye-Kyu:
Chorus: It's a broke day but everything is ok (It's ok)
I'm up all night, but everything is alright (It's alright)
It's a rough week, and I don't get enough sleep (I can't sleep)
It's a long year pretending I belong here (Belong here)
It's a broke day but everything is ok (It's ok)
I'm up all night, but everything is alright (It's alright)
It's a rough week, and I don't get enough sleep (I can't sleep)
It's a long year pretending I belong here (Belong here)

Uh, it's ok, yeah it's alright, even though I can't sleep
Uh yeah, it's ok, it's alright, I can't sleep

313

Eye-Kyu: Now what you know about a sweet MC, from the 313
None of these skills you bout to see come free
So you wanna be a sweet MC, you gotta become me
If you ever wanna be one see

Eminem: Man what you know about a sweet MC, in the 313
None of these skills you bout to see come free
So you wanna be a sweet MC, you better become me
If you ever wanna be one see

Verse 1: Eye-Kyu
Yo some people say I'm whack, now if that's right
I'm the freshest whack MC that you ever heard, in your lifetime
My slick accapella sounds clever with the beats
Boy I'm the deepest thing since potholes to ever hit the streets
Forgot a gold digger's succubus , my souls thick with ruggedness
With the mic I'm like a dyke, can't no nigga fuck with this
I got more Different Strokes than Philip Drummound
On open mic I bone your women just to keep my lyrics coming (bitch)
We elevated to new heights premeditated
Let it be that I stated they hate it now that they see that I made it
The escalated can be put to the test of greatness
Snatch the heart from MC's and I ate it
So I take it that's the reason I'm hated
To represent my temperment
If rap was a dick all you so called hard MC's would not be impitant
But pimping it, and acting like you could rock a show (so)
Harder than LL's Rock the Bells, but you is a ho (now)
Everything that you collaborate I lacerate
My rhymes they keep coming like nympho maniacs that masturbate
At a faster rate, yeah I got something for your ass to hate
I blasterate, and have you all running master gates
And as for face clutching and touching the flows
I got them open like marijuana smoke up in your nose
Bucking these hoes, I got that shit down to a science
Leaving them hot and bothered, turned on like an appliance
Defiance, no we won't have that
You want your shit to blow up?
Well I'ma stuff some dynamite in your ass crack
And blast that shit to kingdom come
Then bring them some of this real hip-hop
I drop beats and you ain't singing or gonna do a thing about
And you all knew from Meeko
That you couldn't hold your own with the strength of Lou Forigno
So stop that bullshit and flow
Yo, you need to come with the real skills, and act like you know

Chorus: Eminem
So what you know about a sweet MC, in the 313
None of these skills you bout to see come free
So you wanna be a sweet MC, you better become me
If you ever wanna be one see

Eye-Kyu: Now what you know about a sweet MC, from the 313
None of these skills you bout to see come free
So you wanna be the sweet MC, you gotta become me
If you ever wanna be one see

Verse 2: Eminem
So what, you know about a sweet MC, in the 313
You don't know shit so when you see one flee
You can be Run-D, you'll never beat the MC
I'll stop the alphabet at S and got it down to a T
I'm sure your bound to agree, a sweet MC crashes the spot
I'll make the roof hot like I was Rock Master Scott
Your ass forgot, so just in case you don't remember me
I'll run your brain around the block to jog your fucking memory
It's either them or me man, kill or be killed
You will and be sealed your casket closed you still gonna be billed
My facilities filled with fans, packed to capacity
I'll send a rapper back with the crack of his ass shitty
If he's acting soft and he cowers
He better come cleaner then Jay Rue jacking off when he showers
You flowers got no clout with a thing
You could date a stick of dynamite and wouldn't go out with a bang
I showered the slang, simple as A,B,C's
Skip over the D's and rock the microphone with E's
Dethrone MC's and I'ma max alone
Relax your dome like a solo from a saxophone
So facts are known, writers get treated with shocks
I rock a beat harder then you could beat it with rocks
I'm greeted with flocks, of fellow follower's singers
You couldn't make the fans throw up their hands if they swallowed their
fingers
But you can bring yours let's see what you got
But don't front and never try to be what you're not
Cause you can be quick, jump the candlestick, burn your back
And fuck Jill on a hill, but you still ain't Jack

Chorus: Eye-Kyu
So what you know about a sweet MC, from the 313
None of these skills you just seen come free
So you wanna be a sweet MC, you'll never become me
So you ain't ever gonna be one see
Eminem: So what you know about a sweet MC, in the 313
None of these skills that you just seen come free
So you wanna be a sweet MC, you'll never become me
So you ain't ever gonna be one see Tonight

Women Singing:
Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Tonight
Verse 1:
I'm getting mad love, I'm snuggling hugs
Druggling thugs, smuggling drugs, juggling jobs, guzzling jugs
So here's a toast to federal checks
Hetero sex, unaffordable medical debts, huh
We travel in packs and ravel in facts and gravel in cracks
To find babbling Max, gaffling tracks
I grapple an axe for them baffling acts
The mysterious stab in the backs who dabble in wax
Still in my yard when I sculpted the culprit
The tall shit that will end up with his skull split
Then I buried the hatchet, I carried on my back
Butterfingers is here and it's necessary to scratch it
Baby all I wanna do is swallow one and two
Smoke a little bit and follow one of you
Back home when the party ends
So tonight I'm dropping naughty hints
To the finest women in the audience
Chorus:
Women Singing:
Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Tonight (blends in with lyrics)
Eminem: Cause we came here to do this tonight
We don't wanna fight, we don't want no one feeling uptight
Cause we came here to do this tonight
Till the morning light hope that everyone's feeling alright
Cause we came here to do this tonight
We don't wanna fight, we don't want no one feeling uptight
Cause we came here to do this tonight
Till the morning light hope that everyone's feeling alright
Verse 2:
Ayo, biters are like tarantulas, vandealous
Living as scandalous as a television evangelist
But I can handle this, I'm the rhyme biter crime fighter
Caped crusader, taking care of undeserving lime lighters
I think a living never meant for me
Experimentally I found a way to spread interamentally
When I stumbled upon this resolution
By using a special fusion of chemical solution for this resolution
You couldn't see me with binoculars
I armed like an octopus
Step on stage and you get socked and pushed
Talking that junk like you went black, guarded your back
Come battle me and you get smacked as hard as you act
When I rap I represent it and will never referee in it
Every minute so when I win it you never resent it
I'm forever demented, come up with funk, I'll never be scented
You got the point when I cleverly said it
Chorus:
Women Singing:
Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Tonight (blends in with lyrics)
Eminem: Cause we came here to do this tonight
We don't wanna fight, we don't want no one feeling uptight
Cause we came here to do this tonight
Till the morning light hope that everyone's feeling alright
Cause we came here to do this tonight
We don't wanna fight, we don't want no one feeling uptight
Cause we came here to do this tonight
Till the morning light hope that everyone's feeling alright

Verse 3:
Eminem is heading skyward
For those who thought that I would make you bored and treat you like a piece of plywood
I've got miracle lyrical capability all in me
With the agility to escape a killer bee colony
So get your cameras and capture how miraculous
I rap for all you Draculas and showed you all how whack you was
I meant it as a dis, cause you don't posses the pizzazz as this
I'm hazardous enough already as it is
Without you adding fuel to the fire
I'm cruel to the liar
Who fails to recognize my reign of hell, rule to the sire
Clinical studies show that I'm cynical
There's no one who's identical to my fresh and authentic flow
I'm sure the party people can agree
That I'm enchanting, with the romantic
Freaking the vocals so frantically
So throw your hands up in the atmosphere
And let them know the only party that was phat was here, just be like

Chorus:
Women Singing:
Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Tonight (blends in with lyrics)
Eminem: Cause we came here to do this tonight
We don't wanna fight, we don't want no one feeling uptight
Cause we came here to do this tonight
Till the morning light hope that everyone's feeling alright
Cause we came here to do this tonight
We don't wanna fight, we don't want no one feeling uptight
Cause we came here to do this tonight
Till the morning light hope that everyone's feeling alright

Maxine

Featuring: Danaun Porter and 3

Maxine!! (Phone Rings)

Maxine: Hello
Denaun: Can I speak to Maxine?
Maxine: Yeah this is me what's up?
Denaun: What up?
Maxine: Who dis?
Denaun: Denaun
Maxine: Yeah what's up?
Denaun: What are you doing?
Maxine: Nothing, just laying in bed
Denaun: Huh?
Maxine: Nothing, just laying in bed
Denaun: Why?
Maxine: I don't know, thinking about something freaky to do

Verse 1: Eminem
I know this crack fiend Maxine who needs a vaccine
She tests positive but tells you that her act's clean
Plus she got a sugar daddy
Asking every hooker that he takes in to crook her badly
If you mistook her sadly, on her reputation
You're in jepordation, if you ain't got no preparation
When you step away son, she got her face done
Looking provocative, she'll let you knock it if
You press the issue and get undressed to kiss you
If you match the price, otherwise she won't look at you twice
But when you catch the lice, or get the urgency
To go to the emergency cause it burns to pee
Don't bring your germs to me, cause I ain't trying to hear it
While your fighting you fucking disease trying to clear it (Maxine!!)

Verse 2: Denaun Porter
Sometimes I wonder, what's your purpose? In life that is
To get with every brother and unveil one of his kids, shit
You living trife, got three kids at home and club hopping every night
You say it's gonna stop but it.. just.. slows.. down
And then speeds back to a regular pace, there is no end to this
Mystery, whatever your reason even is to be
You say you wanna be with me, but how can you say that
When you got niggas hiding in your closet
I refrain from getting angry but you keep on that strangely

Verse 3: 3
I met this girl last week, she was a freak, and she liked me
So I stepped on it and then asked my homies
And chilled on the side and then watched they niggas
Big game over there and take notes, while I get this number
I stepped to her first I cleared my throat and said "Hey Bitch..
Haven't I seen you before?", looked at my nigga
Turned around and got slapped throughout my hands
And said "Oh it's like that?"
She said she just broke up with her nigga and shit
She started crying, and asked me to forgive her and shit
She said her name was Maxine, so I told her I wanted her number
She asked could I give her mine two
Got to the crib and called her up
We got into a good conversation that's when she asked me could I fuck
I said "Maxine check this out,
Give me your address I'll be through and you'll find out"
Got to the crib she let me in
She didn't waste time she grabbed my hand and proceeded to the bedroom
I said "Hold up, and stop proceeding, you rushing things"
What the fuck are you doing?
So I went for my protection, took off my clothes and started flexing
As she went for my midsection
I threw her down as I tore off her shir
Pulled out my jimmy and I thought about putting in work
Before I hit it she said
"3 don't get mad but there's something that I gotta tell your ass"
I said "What is it, another nigga? It's ok"
She said "No I forgot to tell you, that I got AIDS"
I got up out

Denaun: Hey, Maxine
Maxine: What
Denaun: You thinking about sucking my dick?
Maxine: Yeah for a small price
Denaun: For a small price? What you mean?
Maxine: You know, money nigga
Denaun: You don't need no damn money,
I can't give you no money anyways, I heard you got some shit.
Maxine: (laughing) What you, what you hear I got?
Denaun: AIDS
Maxine: (laughing) Who told you that bullshit?
Denaun: My nigga Kyu, he wouldn't lie
Maxine: Well if that's the case, Kyu got it then
Denaun: Oh for real, it's like that?
Maxine: (laughing) Well I ain't got shit,
so he ain't got shit, and if he do, he ain't get that shit from me,
I ain't fucking around with no 3rd nigga
Denaun: Fuck that, I ain't fucking with you
Maxine: No, see..
Denaun: You got that shit, I ain't gotta fuck with you
Maxine: Hold on, why it ain't even like that
Denaun: I want ya'll to get paid, fucking..
Maxine: (laughing as the phone hangs up)



Open Mic

Hey yo, what's up man? Hey, yo you been here all day man
Ya'll been here every weekend man,
I don't ever get a chance to rap first man!
That's cause you whack!
What?!? I ain't whack nigga, I got some raps for all ya'll
Nigga my raps fresh, I'ma bust my raps first,
you can bust yours after me if you want to
No no man, I'm going first,
I'm getting tired of everybody wanted to go first man
You always rap first,
I'm rapping I don't care what none of ya'll say,
I'm fresh, I'm fresh

Thyme:
Ayo, who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?
Point him out man I wanna know
Who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?
(scratched in) I wanna know, I wanna know
I said who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?
Point him out bitch I wanna know
Who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?
(scratched in) I wanna know, I wanna know

Verse 1: Eminem
I'll have you taken back to Christ when you sacrifice
The way you acting slice when I tear your back with knifes
Jacking life's of MC's, now I'm set to launch a plan
For blowing up the stage with illegal contraband
A stomped your man so unless you want what he got
You better set the mic down, I'm steaming like a teapot
I'll make the tea hot, people get in my face and ask
If I wanna battle, then I chase them in a Jason mask
It's an amazing task to battle with success
I never gave a fuck, now I give a fuck less
And in a slug fest I get physical like physicians
Invisible like magicians with mystical mic traditions
Wicked wizardry, like a sorcerer and no remorse for you
When I torture you throughout the course of my orchestra
So feel the force of my spiritual images
Slicing up an enemy's appendages till he hemorrhages
My skin itches every time a rapper recites
And when he's through with his verse, I'm all covered in flea bites
You wanna see fights I got a match for you
You couldn't flip shit playing in toilets with a spatula

Chorus: Thyme
Ayo, who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?
Point him out man I wanna know
Who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?
(scratched in) I wanna know, I wanna know
Ayo, who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?
Point him out bitch I wanna know
Who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?
(scratched in) I wanna know, I wanna know

Verse 2: Eminem
You bitches get a hysterectomy disrespecting me
You wanna feel the full effect of me, hand a tech to me
Intellectually superior, I'll make the whack wearier
Inferior, deterior rate, like bacteria
Materially, killing serially, clearly you'll see
How much in fear when u hear me you'll be
Shiver and shake, quiver and quake
Bite a rhyme and rip it off then stiffer and ache, whither and break
You slithering snake, gibbering fake, fibbering flake
I'll twist you into a different shape
And toss you in Michigan Lake, for fisherman sake
If this is a dream you'd wish you can wake
Every dis you can take, personal
We ain't friends trying to make amends
If you ain't ever stole a gate you can take a fence
I make intense masterpieces and smash to pieces
Your last releases, you bad diseases, that's the reason
I'm showing you the proper way to operate a mic
So pass it like a hot potato
I've never been less than clever and fresh
Severing flesh of fools who never impressed I can confess

Chorus: Thyme
Who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?
Point him out man I wanna know
Who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?
(scratched in) I wanna know, I wanna know
Ayo, who the fuck passed you the mic man and said that you can flow?
Point him out bitch I wanna know
Who the fuck passed you the mic and then said that you can flow?
(scratched in) I wanna know, I wanna know
Whhhooo the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?
Point him out!! I wanna know
Who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?
(scratched in) I wanna know, I wanna know
Ayo let me get that mic man…
Who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?
Who the fuck passed you the mic, who the fuck passed you the mic!!
I got the rhymes bitch, I'll kick that shit

Never too far

Hey what up man?
What up god?
Ya heard?
Chillen, cold as hell
Yes it is, hey Busta didn't come here did he?
No, hey look, you got fifteen cent?
Nah, I got just enough to get on the bus, I'm broke
We gotta go to the store alright man quick cause I'm short
Yeah, we gonna have enough time to go to the store?
Nah, look..
You should just, how much you got there?
I only got 75, I'm sure I got a dollar know what I mean..
Just throw it in there they ain't gonna know
You know what look, I'm sick of taking this damn bus everywhere man
You gotta make some moves or something
I know look, I'm trying to get rich,
I got a baby on the way, I don't even got a car,
you know what I'm saying?
I still stay with my moms, 21 and still with my moms
Look hey, we gotta make some hit records or something,
you know what I'm saying? Cause I'm tired of being broke

Verse 1:
Cause all I do is yearn a life without a concern
And dream of having a turn to earn money to burn
Mapping out my strategies to get rich huh
My desire is like a scratch that needs to get itched huh
Cause man I live in the D, this shit ain't given for free
Nothing's different to me, so what, it's easy to see
I'll be the prisoner to flee, all of this misery
I'm not wishing to be another fish in the sea
But just an MC, so listen to me, but if you disagree
You missing the key, you ain't even in the brisk of the tea
Unconditionally my aspects to cash checks
My objects were never to swab decks
It's up to you the decision is yours
If what you vision is tours, or a mission less course
When shit is in the stores, cause you can be a star

Chorus:
No matter wherever you are, you're never too far
>From revenue huh, cause you can be king
You can rule the world, you can do anything
It's on you baby, cause you can be a star
No matter wherever you are, you're never too far
>From revenue huh, cause you can be king
You can rule the world, you can do anything
It's on you baby, cause you can be a star
No matter wherever you are, you're never too far
>From revenue huh

You know what I'm saying, see what I'm talking about man?
Cause that's it
Yeah
A million dollars ain't even that far away man
Yo we got to get the money man, I can't be broke for the rest of my life
Yeah I hear what your saying,
look there's got to be something better, you know what I'm saying?
I can't live like this for the rest of my life man,
bumming rides everywhere I go
Yeah, what's up with Lexus' and Land cruisers'?

Verse 2:
Yo I'm not about to chance it and dismiss handling business
I'm canceling Christmas to gamble and risk this
Financial interest is the matter at hand
I got an adequate plan for stab at a grand
I grab what I can and do what I must
Pursue what I lust, it's true that I just choose
The few that I trust, thems the people that I still got
Fuck with gangsta fill pot, get your grill shot
The 5 Elemantz for life my man Thyme
Proof, Kyu and Denaun, we move through into time
My crews true and divine, we never fronted
We just wanted to be funded, and live to be a hundred
Instead of hunted or being wanted as fugitives
It's all about a man planning what his future is
What he can do for his to be a star

Chorus:
No matter wherever you are, you're never too far
>From revenue huh, cause you can be king
You can rule the world, you can do anything
It's on you baby, cause you can be a star
No matter wherever you are, you're never too far
>From revenue huh, cause you can be king
You can rule the world, you can do anything
It's on you baby, cause you can be a star
No matter wherever you are, you're never too far
From revenue huh

That's what I'm talking about, I'm not trying to be the player,
I'm trying to be the man, I'm want to be President
Yo forgot that President man I'm trying to be king,
making dead presidents, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah
Getting money anytime I want owning my own businesses and all that,
you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, I'm trying to be a millionare man, hahaha, but don't all you know
You only live once
ninety six baby


Searchin'

Women Singing:
Ain't no one special, special like you (4X)
I been searching, but your the one I want in my life baby (4X)

Verse 1: Eminem
I'm reminiscing on your tenderness and the snuggling and teasing
Missing what I remember, kissing and hugging and squeezing
Bugging and weezing, I'm having trouble when breathing
It's even tougher when sleeping
But there's a couple of reasons that I'm suffering and grieving
For loving and leaving, you all I'm thinking of in the evening
You got my knees buckling and weakening
Thoughts of nothing but freaking that I'm struggling to keep in
And interrupt when I'm speaking
I got some game that I'm preparing to run
The way your lips sparkle and glare in the sun
You got your hair in a bun, no matter what you're wearing you stun
Cause your comparing to none, I wanna share in the fun
I feel a passionate lust when I'm imagining just us alone at last with a touch
I see you grasping to trust, but my intentions are good
The seed is passing in dust
I'm not asking to rush and answer immediately
I just wanna be there for you and you to be there for me
If you agree to repeat after me, I Love You (I love you baby)
Cause I just need you to see, how much I'm eager to be
Your man legally wed, your love's keeping me fed
This is easily said, so you can lead or be led
If you care to be down cause ain't nobody Like you no where to be found

Chorus:
Women Singing:
I been searching, but your the one I want in my life baby (4X)

Verse 2: Denaun Porter
Baby it's all on you, it's you I call on boo
Let's set a day up so you can fall on through
We'll take a spin in a Lexus you can chill for dinner and breakfast
Long enough to see how this gentleman sex'es
We'll start it out with caviar, Don Parigne
And then when it's a fact we are warm, carry on
We'll take it slow, see nobody will hurry things
I got the herbs the Bacardi and Hurricane
If Daiquiris are in debate and not your thing that day
It's still all right cause I got Minute Maid and Tangeray
Your an incredible one that's rare, in bed with edible underwear
You look impeccable, nothing compares
I dream of freaking you, the women that will speak it too so
It seems that there is not an end to things that we can do so
Now we all set to play, only thing left to say is
When you step away, baby but don't forget the Neglicie

Chorus:
Women Singing:
I been searching, but your the one I want in my life baby (8X)
Ain't no one special, special like you (2X)

Backstabber

Police voice:
Attention all units, attention all units
We have an All Points Bulletin out on a man with green hair
I repeat, we have an APB on a man with green hair
He's armed with a knife, I repeat, he's armed with a knife
Proceed with caution, watch your back fella's
He could be coming at your girlfriend next

Verse 1:
There's a joker on the loose from the psychiatric ward
His face is up on the bulletin board with a reward
He'll stab you with a sword don't be fooled by his charm
He's probably armed with intent to do bodily harm
Ring the alarm, look for a man with green hair
Check at your girl's house, he was last seen there
He's has a mean stare but usually crack's jokes
Good luck on your mission and guard your backs folks

Chorus:
I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Stay away from him he ain't no good!

Verse 2:
We got the walkie-talkies to keep us all informed
Suited up head to toe in detective uniforms
Our unit storms in, we split the ghetto in sectors
Locking down every block and put up metal detectors
Protectors and be sure that you stand close
Watch each others backs and guard your command post
And most of all be advised that he's wise
He could be disguised as one of your very own guys

Chorus:
I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Stay away from him he ain't no good!

Verse 3:
I'm on a solo mission to find him personally
To settle the score and beat then him mercifully
For what he first did to me
It's sure to be the last
Following footprints with a magnifying glass
To drag his lying ass back to his padded cell
I'm mad as hell, on the trail of the tattle tail
I heard a yell the voice sounded familiar
"Give me your girlfriend or I'm gonna kill ya"

Chorus:
I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Stay away from him he ain't no good!

Verse 4:
I followed the voice that led down a flight of steps
Sneezing at dust, and swinging at the spider-webs
Inside the depths of his basement
I taste lint in my mouth, then the lights in the place… went!
I saw my life flash in front of my eyes
I felt a butcher knife slash at one of my thighs
None of my guys knew where I'm at I was doomed
Then I remembered the flashlight in my costume

Chorus:
I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Stay away from him he ain't no good!

Verse 5:
Dealing with backstabber's there was one thing I learned
They're only powerful when you got your back turned
I yearned for the day that we finally met again
So I can give him a taste of his own medicine
He shed his skin, then he promised to come clean
I took his butcher knife and jabbed it into his spleen
Cut him at the seam then dragged the fella home
Beating him over the head with the telephone

Police voice:
Attention all cars, attention all cars
Unit 313 has apprehended the suspect
He's going back to the crazy home, I repeat
He's going back to the crazy home, how about that?

Chorus:
I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Stay away from him he ain't no good!
I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Stay away from him he ain't no good!
I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Stay away from him he ain't no good!
Jealousy Woes II

Men singing:
Jealous! (8X)

Girls voice: (Talking over the singing)
Jealous!?! What he mean jealous, know what I'm saying?
He just mad cause he got with some ugly hoes, know what I'm saying?
Girls don't buy him no clothes, He bought that ho some clothes!!
He don't buy me no clothes, Nigga ain't got no money, no vibe, no dick
I mean, What do I got to be jealous for?
He ain't gonna make it no where, he ain't got no type of time
He has no career move, I mean...

Verse 1:
I come home every single day from working double shifts
And stop along the way to pick you up a couple gifts
I come inside and you pretend you miss me when you kiss me
Then you diss me and we strenuously fight continuously
Again you frisk me, for numbers trying to bust me
It must be only just because you never learned to trust me
Plus we only grovel only irrelevant issues
To many tissues, for my feelings you misuse
I buy you jewelry, you make a fool of me
I bring you diamond rings you say I'm bad at timing things
So what's a man to do when all i hand to you is handed back to me
You act to be this gangsta bitch, that ain't what first attracted me
I used to love your company now you always bugging me
For information and you tell your friends you plan on dumping me
So I'ma wait for your evacuation
Cause every accusation makes me wanna smack your face in
See I've never been so sure, and your just insecure
So my solution to your jealousy presents a cure
I recommend you take your things and check them in
Look at the nervous wreck I'm in, I need my second wind, Say What?

Chorus: Men Singing
Jealous, Jealousy, Jealousy (8X)

Women's Voice: (Talking over singing)
Fuck you and what you going through
Fuck Eminem, he just mad cause I left that nigga for another man
Me and Eminem don't need nothing but my and his money
Immature, Me? Nigga ain't got no dick, no swang in his thang
Know what I'm saying? He just mad cause I'm getting it all night
Jealous of me, know what I'm saying? That's what I'm talking about
Mother fucker just trying to get his pussy

Verse 2:
I used to be a puppet and a sucker for your silent treatments
I used to be intoxicated with your sweet sense
Until the day I started following your feetprints
And tapping in your phone conversations through the heat vents
It made complete sense, there's someone else you like
So I confronted you and asked you who was Mike?
And you was like, (sampled) **I need a new nigga**
Someone rich that I could follow
And you'll be over me by the time you see tomorrow
Leaving me in sorrow, Brandy never felt so broken hearted
I fell apart when you departed then the joking started
I was an open target, you play comedian
And I became the laughing stock. but now I'm on my feet again
And so we meet again, your acting like an ex-wife
All in my sex life, I got a message from Phife
He goes, "You didn't want me to see you then, I don't want you now"
Take a towel, wipe your brow, quit trying to hunt me down
You run me down and now your trying to apologize
For all the lies and everytime you made me ball my eyes
Because I got a bigger wallet size, you wanna swing it
Jealousy is in the house ya'll, Fellas sing it... 

"The Slim Shady EP"

Intro (Slim Shady)

Low, Down, Dirty

If I Had...

I Just Don't Give a Fuck

Mommy

Just the Two of Us

No One's Iller Than Me

Murder Murder

If I Had... (Radio Edit)

Just the Two of Us (Radio Edit)

Low, Down, Dirty


Warning, this shit's gon be rated R, restricted
You see this bullet hole in my neck? It's self inflicted
Doctor slapped my momma, "Bitch you got a sick kid"
Arrested, molested myself and got convicted
Wearing visors, sunglasses and disguises
Cause my split personality is having an identity crisis
I'm Dr. Hyde and Mr. Jekyll, disrespectful
Hearing voices in my head while these whispers echo
"Murder Murder Redrum"
Brain size of a bread crumb
Which drug will I end up dead from
Inebriated, till my stress is eleviated
"How in the fuck can Eminem and shady be related?"
Illiterate, illigitimate shit spitter
Bitch getter, hid in the bush like Margot Kidder
Jumped out (Ahhhh!) killed the bitch and did her
Use to let the babysitter suck my dick when I was little'er
Smoke a blunt while I'm titty fuckin Bette Midler
Sniper, waiting on your roof like the Fiddler
Y'all thought I was gonna rhyme with Riddler
Didn't Ya? Bring your bitch I wanna see if this dick gon' fit in her

Chorus: Eminem + (Redman Sample) - 2X

[E] I'm low down and I'm shiftee!
"And if you hear a man that sounds like me smack him
and ask him where the fuck did he get his damn raps from.."

I lace tunes, I'm out this world like Space Moons
With a bunch crazed loons dismissin brains like braze wounds
Nothing but idiots and misfits, dipshits
Doing whippits, passed out like Sanford snippits
Where's the weed, I wanna tamper with it
I'ma let your grandpa hit it
Mix it up with cocaine so her can't forget it
Fuck it, maybe I'm a bum
But I was put on this earth to make your baby mama cum
So what I'm on is way beyond the bomb or any alcoholic beverage
Losing all of my leverage
Went up inside the First National Bank broke, and left rich
Walking bio-hazard causing wreckage
Smoked out like Eckridge
Band just making my neck itch
What the fuck? Gimme the tech bitch
You just lost your tip, there's a pubic hair in my breakfast
Got shit popping off like bottle cap tips
Get your cap peeled like the dead skin of your mama's chapped lips
Slap hips, support domestic violence
Beat your bitches ass while your kids stare in silence
I'm just joking, is Dirty Dozen's really dust smoking?
If all your shit's missing, than probably one of us broke in

Chorus

My head's ringing, like it was Spider Sense tingling
Lit it like Green Bay did when they shitted on New England
I'm out the game, put the second string in
This Brandy got my swinging
Bobbing back and forth like a penguin
Delinquent, toking microphones with Broken English
Make your mama be like "Ohh! This is good! Who sing this?"
"Slim Shady, his tape is dope, I love it
It's rugged, but he needs to quit talking all that drug shit."
It was predicted by a medic
I'd grow to be an addicted diabetic
Living off liquid Triametic
Pathetic, but I don't think this headache's ever vanishing
Panicing, I think I might have just took too much Anasin
Frozen Manaquin, posted stiffer than a statue
I think I'm dying, God is that you?
Somebody help me, before I OD on an LP
Take me to ER ASAP for and IV
Motherfuck JLB, they don't support no hip hop
They say that's where it ends, the closest they gon come is Tupac
It's politics, it's all a fix
Setup by these white blue collared hicks
Just to make a dollar off of black music
With a subliminal ball of tricks
But those can kiss ass and swallow dicks

Chorus


If I Had...

Life, by Marshall Mathers.
what is life?
Life is like a big obstacle in front of you optical to slow you down.
And every time you think you've gotten passed it, it's gonna come back around and
tackle you to the damn ground.
What are friends?
Friends are people you think are your friends but they're really your enemies with
secret identities.
In disguises to hide they true colors, so just when you think you close enough to be
brothers the wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't looking.
What is money? Money is what makes a man act funny.
Money is the root of all evil.
Money will make them same friends come back around,
swearing that they was always down.
What is Life, I'm tired of life!
I'm tired of back stabbing ass snakes with friendly grins,
I'm tired of committing so many sins,
Tired of always giving in when this bottle of hinny wins,
tired of never having any ends
tired of having skinny friends hooked on crack and many things
I'm tired of this d.j. playing your shit when he spins,
tired of not having a deal, Tired of having to deal with this bull shit without
grabbing the steal.
Tired of drowning in my sorrow, Tired of having to borrow a dollar for gas to start
my Monte Carlo.
I'm tired of mother fuckers spraying shit and darting off,
I'm tired of jobs starting off at $5.50 an hour and the boss wonders why I'm
smarting off,
Tired of being fired every time i fart and cough.
Tired of having to work as a gas station clerk, with this jerk breathing down my
neck driving my Byzerk.
I'm tired of using plastic silverware, Tired of working at builder square.
Tired of not being a millionaire.

(chorus)
* "but if i had a million dollars, i'd buy a damn brewery and turn the planet into
alcoholics. if i had a magic wand, i'd make the world suck my dick with out a
condom on while i'm on the john. if i had a million bucks, it wouldn't be enough
cuz i'd still be out robbing armored trucks. if i had one wish i would ask for a big
enough ass for the whole world to kiss."*

Tired of being white trash broke and always poor. Tired of taking pop bottles back
to the party store.
Tired of not having a phone, Tired of not having a home to have one in if i did
have one on.
tired of not driving a BM, tired of not working at GM tired of wanting to be him.
Tired of not sleeping with out a tylonol p.m.
tired of not performing in a packed coliseum,
tired of not being on tour, tired of fucking the same blonde whore after work in the
back of a contour.
I'm tired of faking knots with a stack of ones, having a lack of funds and resorting
back to guns.
Tired of being stared, tired of wearing the same damn nike air hat.
Tired of stepping in clubs wearing the same pair of Lugz.
tired of hearing people say they tired of hearing me rap about drugs.
tired of other rappers who ain't bringing half the skill as me saying they wasn't
feeling me or nobody's as ill as me.
and Im tired of radio stations telling fibs, Tired of j.o.b. saying where hip hop lives.

(repeat chorus)


(spoken)... you know what i'm saying? i'm tired of all of this bullshit. telling me to
be positive, how my `posed` to be positive when i don't see shit positive? You
know what i'm saying? I rap about shit around my shit I see. you know what i'm
saying and right now i'm tired of everything. tired of all this player hating that's
going on in my own city. you can't get away a players, you know what i'm
saying? but hey it's cool though, you know what i'm saying. I'm just fed up!
That's my word.


I Just Don't Give a Fuck

featuring Frogg

* the only difference is that the album version censors
the line "raped the women's swim team" in the third verse

Intro: Frogg

Whoah!
A get your hands in the air, and get to clappin 'em
and like, back and forth because ah
this is.. what you thought it wasn't
It beez.. the brothers representin' the Dirty Dozen
I be the F-R-O the double G *coughing in background*
And check out the man he goes by the name of er...

Verse One: Eminem

Slim Shady, brain dead like Jim Brady
I'm a M80, you Lil' like that Kim lady
I'm buzzin, Dirty Dozen, naughty rotten rhymer
Cursin at you players worse than Marty Schottenheimer
You wacker than the motherfucker you bit your style from
You ain't gonna sell two copies if you press a double album
Admit it, fuck it, while we comin out in the open
I'm doin acid, crack, smack, coke and smokin dope then
My name is Marshall Mathers, I'm an alcoholic (Hi Marshall)
I have a disease and they don't know what to call it
Better hide your wallet cause I'm comin up quick to strip your cash
Bought a ticket to your concert just to come and whip your ass
Bitch, I'm comin out swingin, so fast it'll make your eyes spin
You gettin knocked the fuck out like Mike Tyson
The proof is in the puddin, just ask the Shawn Holman
I'll slit your motherfuckin throat worse than Ron Goldman

Chorus:

So when you see me on your block with two glocks
Screamin _Fuck the World_ like Tupac
I just don't give a fuuuuuck!!
Talkin that shit behind my back, dirty mackin
tellin your boys that I'm on crack
I just don't give a fuuuuuck!!
So put my tape back on the rack
Go run and tell your friends my shit is wack
I just don't give a fuuuuuck!!
But see me on the street and duck
Cause you gon' get stuck, stoned, and snuffed
Cause I just don't give a fuuuuuck!!

Verse Two: Eminem

I'm Nicer than Pete, but I'm on a Serch to crush a Miilkbone
I'm Everlast-ing, I melt Vanilla Ice like silicone
I'm ill enough to just straight up diss you for no reason
I'm colder than snow season when it's twenty below freezin
Flavor with no seasonin, this is the sneak preview
I'll diss your magazine and still won't get a weak review
I'll make your freak leave you, smell the Folgers crystals
This is a lyrical combat, gentlemen hold your pistols
But I form like Voltron and blast you with my shoulder missiles
Slim Shady, Eminem was the old initials (Bye-bye!)
Extortion, snortin, supportin abortion
Pathological liar, blowin shit out of proportion
The looniest, zaniest, spontaneous, sporadic
Impulsive thinker, compulsive drinker, addict
Half animal, half man
Dumpin your dead body inside of a fuckin trash can
With more holes than an Afghan

Chorus

Verse Three: Eminem

Somebody let me out this limousine (hey, let me out!)
I'm a caged demon, on stage screamin like Rage Against the Machine
I'm convinced I'm a fiend, shootin up while this record is spinnin
Clinically brain dead, I don't need a second opinion
Fuck droppin the jaw, I'm flippin the sacred treasure
I'll bite your motherfuckin style, just to make it fresher
I can't take the pressure, I'm sick of bitches
Sick of naggin bosses bitchin while I'm washin dishes
In school I never said much, too busy havin a headrush
Doin too much rush had my face flushed like red blush
Then I went to Jim Beam, that's when my face grayed
Went to gym in eighth grade, raped the women's swim team
Don't take me for a joke I'm no comedian
Too many mental problems got me snortin coke and smokin weed again
I'm goin up over the curb, drivin on the median
Finally made it home, but I don't got the key to get in

Chorus

Outro: Eminem

Hey, fuck that!
Outsidaz..
Pace One..
Young Zee..


Just the two of us

Just the two of us.. (8X)

[Eminem]
Baby your da-da loves you (hey)
And I'ma always be here for you (hey) no matter what happens
You're all I got in this world
I would never give you up for nothin
Nobody in this world is ever gonna keep you from me
I love you

C'mon Hai-Hai, we goin to the beach
Grab a couple of toys and let da-da strap you in the car seat
Oh where's mama? She's takin a little nap in the trunk
Oh that smell (whew!) da-da musta runned over a skunk
Now I know what you're thinkin - it's kind of late to go swimmin
But you know your mama, she's one of those type of women
that do crazy things, and if she don't get her way, she'll throw a fit
Don't play with da-da's toy knife, honey, let go of it (no!)
And don't look so upset, why you actin bashful?
Don't you wanna help da-da build a sand castle? (yeah!)
And mama said she wants to show how far she can float
And don't worry about that little boo-boo on her throat
It's just a little scratch - it don't hurt, her was eatin
dinner while you were sweepin and spilled ketchup on her shirt
Mama's messy isn't she? We'll let her wash off in the water
and me and you can pway by ourselves, can't we?

Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!

See honey.. there's a place called heaven and a place called hell
A place called prison and a place called jail
And da-da's probably on his way to all of em except one
Cause mama's got a new husband and a stepson
And you don't want a brother do ya? (Nah)
Maybe when you're old enough to understand a little better
I'll explain it to ya
But for now we'll just say mama was real real bad
She was bein mean to dad and made him real real mad
But I still feel sad that I put her on time-out
Sit back in your chair honey, quit tryin to climb out (WAHH!)
I told you it's okay HaiHai, wanna ba-ba?
Take a night-night? Nan-a-boo, goo-goo ga-ga?
Her make goo-goo ca-ca? Da-da change your dia-dee
Clean the baby up so her can take a nighty-nighty
Your dad'll wake her up as soon as we get to the water
Ninety-seven Bonnie and Clyde, me and my daughter

Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!

Wake up sweepy head we're here, before we pway
we're gonna take mama for a wittle walk along the pier
Baby, don't cry honey, don't get the wrong idea
Mama's too sweepy to hear you screamin in her ear (ma-maa!)
That's why you can't get her to wake, but don't worry
Da-da made a nice bed for mommy at the bottom of the lake
Here, you wanna help da-da tie a rope around this rock? (yeah!)
We'll tie it to her footsie then we'll roll her off the dock
Ready now, here we go, on the count of free..
One.. two.. free.. WHEEE! (whoooooshhhhh)
There goes mama, spwashin in the wa-ta
No more fightin wit dad, no more restraining order
No more step-da-da, no more new brother
Blow her kisses bye-bye, tell mama you love her (mommy!)
Now we'll go play in the sand, build a castle and junk
But first, just help dad with two more things out the trunk

Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!

Just the two of us.. (4X)

[Eminem]
Just me and you baby
is all we need in this world
Just me and you
Your da-da will always be there for you
Your da-da's always gonna love you
Remember that
If you ever need me I will always be here for you
If you ever need anything, just ASK
Da-da will be right there
Your da-da loves you
I love you baby


No One's Iller Than Me

[Bizarre]
Yeah...ha ha ha (BANG!), Yeah, Bizarre Kid comin' at you
Eminem and Fuzz, and Mr. Swifty, ha ha

No one's iller than me (wha?)
No one, no one is iller than me
No one is iller than me
It's Mr. Swifty from the 313...

[Swift]
I make rappers wanna turn into singers
I keep hoes lickin' they fingers
Bring this competition and face this meanin'
Got your whole crew doing subpeonas
Hell nah you ain't seen a crew genius
Murder whoever's between us, pack your heaters
Keep it close, you can't beat us
While your whole crew treat us like G's, you best believe this
I done made quadrapalegics outta these non-rappin rejects
While the whole world ejects your tape, it ain't no secret
That your shit sounds fake, you can't stop it my mind state
Makes it too late for cops in tryin' to stop the crime rate
I'm like Two-Face, I'm painful to rappers then you can tell
From these shells, how I gotta bend 'em like route canals
I erase all trails, somethin' farther from gettin' bail
Makes you wanna kill an emcee yourself, you might as well
Be within a 25 to life sentence, on linkin' trials
Horrified, and keep on frontin', repentin' and lose they bowels
Everything is foul when Swift's around, vacate now
Niggas dumb enough to try to front and escape, how?
I'm gonna take this 'gnac and drink it straight wild
Niggas steady fallin' in my face like milk crates, BLAAAOW!

It's Swifty from the 313
Like I said no one is iller than me, unnhh!

[Bizarre]
Me and Eminem and Mike
Drivin' down Van Dyke
Get my dick sucked late at night by a fuckin' transvestite
Still on probation for stranglin' my boy Jason
Should be takin' my medication, it's 9 to 10 I'm facin'
Last week this old man I had to blast
Cuz he tried to help me out when my car was out of gas
Ripped this old lady, hung her neck by a hook
Didn't realize it was my grandmother 'til I checked her pocketbook
Fuckin' with the white boys got me back on crack
Better explain where the hell your TVs and VCRs is at
I done lost 100 pounds, I ain't been eatin' like I should
This wounded dog in the street is sure lookin' good!
Rob this little boy in his fuckin' paper route
Throwin' bottles at day care centers and yell "EVERYBODY GET OUT"!
My girl beat my ass and shot me in the back with a 2-piece
Cuz she found out I was havin' an affair with her 10-year old niece

No one, no one's iller than me
It's Bizarre Kid straight from the 313
No one, no one is iller than me
It's Bizarre Kid straight from the 313

[Eminem]
Nobody better test me, cuz I don't wanna get messy
Especially when I step inside this bitch, dick freshly
New Lugz, give the crew hugs, guzzle two mugs
Before I do drugs that make me throw up like flu bugs
True thugs, rugged unshaven messy scrubs
Whippin' 40-bottles like the fuckin' Pepsi clubs
Down a fifth, crack open a six
I'm on my seventh 8-ball, now I gotta take a piss
I'm hollerin' at these hoes that got boyfriends
Who gives a fuck who they was
I'm always takin' someone else's girl like Cool J does
They probably don't be packin' anyways, do they Fuzz?
We walked up, stomped they asses and blew they buzz
Mics get sandblasted
Stab your abdomen with a hand crafted pocketknife and spill your antacid
Sprayed your motherfuckin' crib up when I ran past it
Fuckin' felon, headed to hell in a handbasket
Talkin' shit will get you, your girl and your man blasted
Kidnapped and slapped in a van wrapped in Saran plastic
Get your damn ass kicked, by these fantastic
Furious four motherfuckers
Flashin' in front of your face without the Grand Masters

Slim Shady, ain't nobody iller than me

[Fuzz]
I run shit like an ass with legs
Massive lead to leave your cabbage red
Similar to your ass in a casket dead
Drastic spread of acid heads
Come to abort you like a bastard egg
That trash you said got you standin' on plastic legs
Ask the feds from past the edge
Rockin' the most classic threads
Flashin' bread, roll down the window
Bitch you got some fantastic legs, you can get 'til that ass get red
You can get 'til that ass get red
Bizarre you get him and him, Swift you get him and him
I'll get him and him, leave the other two for my nigga Eminem
Never writer's block, I block writers
My block's tighter, ante up and get your top fighters
Got fired for jumpin' the counter with a mop stick
Some bitch ran up screamin' GET THE COPS QUICK!
And got drop kicked, now she screamin' "Stop it..."
Got clips to stop shit, rock shit and grab this hot shit
Wherever you shop bitch, Fuzz Scooter '97 crop pick
Sick a-ya'll niggaz lookin' at me like I got tits
I shoot a rocket through your optic
You niggaz still don't know the top pick?
I got bricks, lose my foot in your ass
And have you shittin' socks bitch!
We rock shit, leave your fuckin' knot split
Grab the green from Al by showin' him hot grits
(No one...)

Ain't nobody iller than me

[Bizzare]
It's the Mr. Fuzzy from the 313
No one, no one is iller than me
It's Eminem and Swift from the 313
No one, no one is iller than me
It's Fuzz and Buzz-arre from the 313

You have now witnessed 4 ill emcees!
From the home of potholes and trash
We'll lyrically blast...


Murder Murder

CHORUS
All I see is murder murder, my mind state - [2Pac]
Makes it too late for cops in tryin' to stop the crime rate - [Swift]
All I see is murder murder, my mind state
Murder, murder, murder, and kill, kill, kill!
(2x)

Left the keys in the van, with a gat in each hand
Went up in Eastland and shot a policeman
Fuck a peace plan of citizen bystands
But shit is in my hands, here's your life span
For what your life's worth this money is twice than
Grab a couple grand and live a nice land
See I'm a nice man but money turned me to Satan
I'm thirsty for this green so bad I'm dehydratin'
Hurry up with the cash bitch, I got a ride waitin'
Shot a man twice in the back when he tried escapin'
I want the whole plot, I won't be denied nathan
Maybe I need my head inside straightened
Brain contemplatin', clean out the register
Dip before somebody catches ya
Or gets ya description an' sketches ya
The connection was the prime suspect
But I ain't set to flee the scene of the crime just yet
Cuz I got a daughter to feed
And $200 ain't enough to water the seed
The best thing would be for me to leave Taco Bell an' hit up Chess King
And have the lady at the desk bring
Money from the safe in the back, stepped in wavin' the Mac
Cooperate and we can operate and save an attack
This bitch tried escapin' the jack
Grabbed her by the throat, it's murder she wrote
You barely heard a word as she choked
It wasn't nuttin' for her to be smoked
But I slammed her on her back 'til her vertebrae broke
Just then the pigs bust in yellin' "Freeze!"
But I'm already wanted for sellin' keys
And bunch of other felonies from A to Z like spellin' bees
So before I dropped to the ground and fell on knees
I bust shots, they bust back
Hit the square in the chest, he wasn't wearin' a vest

CHORUS 2x

Left the house, pullin' out the drive backin' out
Need a backin' out this lady's Jag started blackin' out
Pulled the Mac-10 out, stuck it in her face
Shut ya yackin' mouth before I blow the brain from out the back ya scalp
Drug her by her hair, smacked her up
Thinkin' fuck it, mug her while you're there, jacked her up
Stole her car, made a profit
Grabbed the tape from out the deck and offed it out the window
Like the girl on Set It Off did
Jetted off kid, stole the whip, now I'm a criminal
Drove in thru somebody's yard, dove into they swimmin' pool
Climbed out and collapsed on the patio
I made it out alive but I'm injured badly though
Parents screamin': "Son, go in and call the police
Tell 'em there's a crazy man disturbing all of the peace!"
Tried to stall him at least long enough to let me leap up
Run in they crib and at least leave with some little cheap stuff
Actin' like they never seen nobody hit a nick before
Smashed the window, grabbed the Nintendo 64
When they sell out in stores the price triples
I ran up the block jumpin' kids on tricycles
And colliding with an 80-year old lady with groceries
There goes the cheese, eggs, milk and Post Toasties
Stood up and started to see stars
Too many siren sounds, it seemed like a thousand police cars
Barely escaped, must-a been some dumb luck
Jumped up and climbed the back of a movin' dump truck
But I think somebody seen me maybe
Plus I lost the damn Nintendo and I must-a dropped the Beanie Baby
Fuck it I give up, I'm surrounded in blue suits
Came out with a white flag hollerin' "TRUCE TRUCE!"
Surrendered my weapon to cops
Wasn't me! It was the gangsta rap and the peppermint Schnopps

CHORUS 2x

CHORUS scratches to fade out



If I Had... (Radio Edit)

Life.. by Marshall Mathers
What is life?
Life is like a big obstacle
put in front of your optical to slow you down
And everytime you think you gotten past it
it's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground
What are friends?
Friends are people that you think are your friends
But they really your enemies, with secret indentities
and disguises, to hide they true colors
So just when you think you close enough to be brothers
they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin
What is money?
Money is what makes a man act funny
Money is the root of all evil
Money'll make them same friends come back around
swearing that they was always down
What is life?
I'm tired of life
I'm tired of backstabbing ass snakes with friendly grins
I'm tired of committing so many sins
Tired of always giving in when this bottle of Henny wins
Tired of never having any ends
Tired of having skinny friends hooked on crack and mini-thins
I'm tired of this DJ playing YOUR shit when he spins
Tired of not having a deal
Tired of having to deal with the bullshit without grabbing the steel
Tired of drowning in my sorrow
Tired of having to borrow a dollar for gas to start my Monte Carlo
I'm tired of motherfuckers spraying shit and dartin off
I'm tired of jobs startin off at five fifty an hour
then this boss wanders why I'm smartin off
I'm tired of being fired everytime I fart and cough
Tired of having to work as a gas station clerk
for this jerk breathing down my neck driving me bezerk
I'm tired of using plastic silverware
Tired of working in Building Square
Tired of not being a millionaire

But if I had a million dollars
I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
If I had a magic wand, I'd make the world suck my dick
without a condom on, while I'm on the john
If I had a million bucks
it wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be out
robbing armored trucks
If I had one wish
I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss

I'm tired of being white trash, broke and always poor
Tired of taking pop bottles back to the party store
I'm tired of not having a phone
Tired of not having a home to have one in if I did have it on
Tired of not driving a BM
Tired of not working at GM, tired of wanting to be him
Tired of not sleeping without a Tylenol PM
Tired of not performing in a packed coliseum
Tired of not being on tour
Tired of fucking the same blonde whore after work
in the back of a Contour
I'm tired of faking knots with a stack of ones
Having a lack of funds and resorting back to guns
Tired of being stared at
I'm tired of wearing the same damn Nike Air hat
Tired of stepping in clubs wearing the same pair of Lugz
Tired of people saying they're tired of hearing me rap about drugs
Tired of other rappers who ain't bringin half the skill as me
saying they wasn't feeling me on "Nobody's As Ill As Me"
I'm tired of radio stations telling fibs
Tired of J-L-B saying "Where Hip-Hop Lives"

But if I had a million dollars
I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
If I had a magic wand, I'd make the world suck my dick
without a condom on, while I'm on the john
If I had a million bucks
it wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be out
robbing armored trucks
If I had one wish
I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss

You know what I'm saying?
I'm tired of all of this bullshit
Telling me to be positive
How'm I 'sposed to be positive when I don't see shit positive?
Know what I'm sayin?
I rap about shit around me, shit I see
Know what I'm sayin? Right now I'm tired of everything
Tired of all this player hating that's going on in my own city
Can't get no airplay, you know what I'm sayin?
But ey, it's cool though, you know what I'm sayin?
Just fed up
That's my word



Just the Two of Us (Radio Edit)

[Eminem]
Baby your da-da loves you (hey)
And I'ma always be here for you (hey) no matter what happens
You're all I got in this world
I would never give you up for nothin
Nobody in this world is ever gonna keep you from me
I love you

C'mon Hai-Hai, we goin to the beach
Grab a couple of toys and let da-da strap you in the car seat
Oh where's mama? She's takin a little nap in the trunk
Oh that smell (whew!) da-da musta runned over a skunk
Now I know what you're thinkin - it's kind of late to go swimmin
But you know your mama, she's one of those type of women
that do crazy things, and if she don't get her way, she'll throw a fit
Don't play with da-da's toy knife, honey, let go of it (no!)
And don't look so upset, why you actin bashful?
Don't you wanna help da-da build a sand castle? (yeah!)
And mama said she wants to show how far she can float
And don't worry about that little boo-boo on her throat
It's just a little scratch - it don't hurt, her was eatin
dinner while you were sweepin and spilled ketchup on her shirt
Mama's messy isn't she? We'll let her wash off in the water
and me and you can pway by ourselves, can't we?

Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!

See honey.. there's a place called heaven and a place called hell
A place called prison and a place called jail
And da-da's probably on his way to all of em except one
Cause mama's got a new husband and a stepson
And you don't want a brother do ya? (Nah)
Maybe when you're old enough to understand a little better
I'll explain it to ya
But for now we'll just say mama was real real bad
She was bein mean to dad and made him real real mad
But I still feel sad that I put her on time-out
Sit back in your chair honey, quit tryin to climb out (WAHH!)
I told you it's okay HaiHai, wanna ba-ba?
Take a night-night? Nan-a-boo, goo-goo ga-ga?
Her make goo-goo ca-ca? Da-da change your dia-dee
Clean the baby up so her can take a nighty-nighty
Your dad'll wake her up as soon as we get to the water
Ninety-seven Bonnie and Clyde, me and my daughter

Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!

Wake up sweepy head we're here, before we pway
we're gonna take mama for a wittle walk along the pier
Baby, don't cry honey, don't get the wrong idea
Mama's too sweepy to hear you screamin in her ear (ma-maa!)
That's why you can't get her to wake, but don't worry
Da-da made a nice bed for mommy at the bottom of the lake
Here, you wanna help da-da tie a rope around this rock? (yeah!)
We'll tie it to her footsie then we'll roll her off the dock
Ready now, here we go, on the count of free..
One.. two.. free.. WHEEEEEE! (whoooooshhhhh)
There goes mama, spwashin in the wa-ta
No more fightin wit dad, no more restraining order
No more step-da-da, no more new brother
Blow her kisses bye-bye, tell mama you love her (mommy!)
Now we'll go play in the sand, build a castle and junk
But first, just help dad with two more things out the trunk

Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!

Just the two of us.. (4X)

[Eminem]
Just me and you baby
is all we need in this world
Just me and you
Your da-da will always be there for you
Your da-da's always gonna love you
Remember that
If you ever need me I will always be here for you
If you ever need anything, just ASK
Da-da will be right there
Your da-da loves you
I love you baby 

"Marshall Mathers LP"

Public Service Announcment 2000

Kill You

Stan > Featuring Dido

Paul (Skit)

Who Knew

Steve Berman (Skit)

The Way I Am

The Real Slim Shady

Remember Me? > Featuring RBX and Sticky Fingaz

I'm Back

Marshall Mathers

Ken Kaniff (Skit)

Drug Ballad

Amityville > Featuring Bizarre from D-12

Bitch Please II > Featuring Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Xzibit and Nate Dogg

Kim

Under The Influence > Featuring D-12

Criminal

[01] __Public Service Announcment 2000

[Announcer](Eminem)
This is another public service announcement
Brought to you in part by Slim Shady
(Tell 'em I don't give a fuck)
Slim Shady does not give a fuck what you think
(Tell 'em to suck it)
If you don't like it, you can suck his fucking cock
(Tell 'em they kissed my ass)
Little did you know upon purchasing this album
You have just kissed his ass!
(Tell 'em I'm fed up)
Slim Shady is fed up with your shit
And he's going to kill you
(Yeah)
Uh, anything else?
(Yeah, sue me!)


[02] __Kill You

When I was just a little baby boy
My mamma used to tell me these crazy things
She used to tell me my daddy was an evil man
She used to tell me he hated me
But then I got a little bit older and I realized she was the crazy one
And there was nothing I could do or say to change her
Cause that's just the way she was

They said I can't rap about being broke no more
They didn't say I can't rap about coke no more
(Ahh)
Slut, you think I won't choke no whore
Till her vocal cords don't work in her throat no more
(Ahh)
These motherfuckers are thinking I'm playin'
Thinking I'm sayin' this shit 'cause I'm thinkin' it
Just to be sayin' it
(Ahh)
Put your hands down bitch I ain't gon' shoot you
I'mma pull you to this bullet and put it through you
(Ahh)
Shut up, slut you're causing too much chaos
Just bend over and take it like a slut, ok ma
Oh, now he's raping his own mother, abusing her
Worse snortin' coke, and we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?
You're goddamn right bitch, and now it's too late
I'm triple-platnum and tragedies happened in two states
I invented violence you vile, venomous, vomital bitches
Vain, vicadin, vrin-vrin-vrin
Touch this chainsaw, left his brains all
Dangling from his neck while his head barely hangs on
Blood, guts, guns, cuts
Knives, lives, wives, nuns, sluts

Bitch, I'mma kill you
You don't wanna fuck with me
Girls leave, you ain't nothin' but a slut to me
Bitch, I'mma kill you
You don't got the balls to beef
We ain't gon' never stop beefin'
I don't squash the beef
You better kill me
I'mma be another rapper dead
For poppin' off at the mouth with shit I shouldn't have said
But when they kill me
I'm bringin' the world with me
Bitches too, you ain't nothin' but a girl to me

I said you don't wanna fuck with Shady
(Cause why?)
Cause Shady will fuckin' kill you
(Ha-ha)
You don't wanna fuck with Shady
(Why?)
Cause Shady will fuckin' kill you

Bitch, I'mma kill you
Like a murder weapon I'mma conceal you
In a closet with mildew, sheets, pillows & film you
Fuck with me, I've been through hell, shut the hell up
I'm try-na to develop these pictures of the devil to sell them
I ain't Acid Rap but I rap on acid
Got a new blow torch and just had a strap-on added
Woops, is that a subliminal hint? No!
It's criminal intent, to sodomize women again
Eminem offend? No, Eminem'll assault
And if you ever give it to him you'll give him an impulse
To do it again, then if he does it again
You probabaly end up jumping out of something up in the tents
Bitch, I'mma kill you
I ain't done, this ain't the chorus
I ain't even drug you in the woods yet to paint the forest
A bloodstain is orange after you wash it three or four times
In a tub but that's normal ain't it Norman?
Serial killer hiding murder material
In a cereal box on top of your stereo
Here we go again, we're out of out medicine
Out of our minds, and we want in yours
Let us in

Or I'mma kill you
You don't wanna fuck with me
Girls leave, you ain't nothin' but a slut to me
Bitch, I'mma kill you
You don't got the balls to beef
We ain't gon' never stop beefin'
I don't squash the beef
You better kill me
I'mma be another rapper dead
For poppin' off at the mouth with shit I shouldn't have said
But when they kill me
I'm bringin' the world with me
Bitches too, you ain't nothin' but a girl to me

I said you don't wanna fuck with Shady
(Cause why?)
Cause Shady will fuckin' kill you
(Ha-ha)
You don't wanna fuck with Shady
(Why?)
Cause Shady will fuckin' kill you

He-heh
Know why I say these things
Cause ladies screams be creepin' in Shady's dreams
And the way things seem, I shouldn't have to pay these shrinks
These eighty g's so he can say the same things tweece
Twice, whatever, I hate these things
Fuck shots, I hope this weed'll outweigh these drinks
Motherfuckers want me to come on their radio shows
Just to argue with them 'cause their ratings stink?
Fuck that, I'll choke radio announcer to bouncer
From that bitch to all seventy thousand pounds of her
From the princapal to student body and counseler
From in school to before school to outta school
I don't even believe in breathin'
I'm leavin' air in your lungs so you can keep screamin'
For me to seep it
Okay, I'm ready to go play
I got the machette from OJ
I'm ready to make everyone's throats ache
You faggots keep egging me on
Till I have you at knife point then you beg me to stop?
Shut up, give me your hands and feet
I said shut up when I'm talking to you
You hear me? Answer me

Or I'mma kill you
You don't wanna fuck with me
Girls leave, you ain't nothin' but a slut to me
Bitch, I'mma kill you
You don't got the balls to beef
We ain't gon' never stop beefin'
I don't squash the beef
You better kill me
I'mma be another rapper dead
For poppin' off at the mouth with shit I shouldn't have said
But when they kill me
I'm bringin' the world with me
Bitches too, you ain't nothin' but a girl to me

I said you don't wanna fuck with Shady
(Cause why?)
Cause Shady will fuckin' kill you
(Ha-ha)
You don't wanna fuck with Shady
(Why not?)
Cause Shady will fuckin' kill you

Ha-ha-ha!
I'm just playin' ladies
You know I love you


[03] __Stan

[Dido]
My tears gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds at my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could, it would all be great
To put your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.
My tears gone cold, I'm wonderin' why

I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds at my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could, it would all be great
To put your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.

[Enimem as Stan]
Dear Slim,
I wrote you but you still ain't callin'
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in Autumn
You must not have got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin'
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
But anyways, fuck it, what's been up man, how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'mma call her?
I'mma name her Bonnie
I read about your uncle Ronnie too, I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Scam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with Ruckus too, that shit was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to chat
Truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan

[Dido]
My tears gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds at my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could, it would all be great
To put your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.

[Enimem as Stan]
Dear Slim,
You still ain't called or wrote
I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad, I just think it's fucked up you don't answer fans
If you didn't want to talk to me outside your concert
You didn't have to but you could have signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you
For four hours and ya just said no
That's pretty shitty man, you're like his fucking idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though I just don't like bein' lied to
Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I write you
You would write back
See, I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're sayin' in your songs
So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on
Cause I don't really got shit else
So that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See, everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growing up
You've gotta call me man
I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours,
Stan
P.S. We should be together too

[Dido]
My tears gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds at my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could, it would all be great
To put your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.

[Enimem as Stan]
Dear Mr. 'I'm too good to call or write my fans'
This'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word
I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect.
So this is my cassette I'm sending you. I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, "I drank a fifth of vodka, ya dare me to drive?"
You know that song by Phil Collins from "The Air In The Night"?
About that guy who could have saved that other guy from drowning?
But didn't?
Then Phil saw it all then at his show he found him?
That's kinda how this is
You could have rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late
I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped all o' your pictures off the wall
I love you Slim, we could have been together
Think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it
I hope your conscious eats at you and you can't breathe without me
See Slim, shut up bitch, I'm try-na talk
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screaming in the trunk
But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
'Cause if she suffocates, she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?

[Dido]
My tears gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds at my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could, it would all be great
To put your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.

[Eminem]
Dear Stan,
I meant to write you sooner, but I've just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
And here's an autograph for your brother
I wrote it on a Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I must have missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally, just to diss you
But what's the shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin' dawg, come on, how fucked up is you?
You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counselin'
To help your ass from bouncin' off the walls when you get down some
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other.
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter
I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you hurt yourself
I think that you'd be doin' just fine
If you'd relax a little
I'm glad that I inspire you, but Stan
Why are you so mad?
Try to understand that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
And had his girlfriend in the trunk and she was pregnant with his kid
And in the car they found a tape but it didn't say who it was to
Come to think about it, his name was, it was you
Damn

[04] __Paul (skit)

Em what's goin on?
It's Paul.
Umm. Dre gave me a copy of the new album
and I just
(takes a breath)
Fuck it.


[05] __Who Knew

(I never knew I)
(I never knew I) Mic check, one, two
(I never knew I) Who would've knew?
(I never knew I) Who would've known?
(I never knew I) Who the fuck would've thought?
(I never knew I) Motherfucker comes out
(I never knew I) Sells a couple-a million records
(I never knew I) And these motherfuckers hit the ceiling

I don't do black music, I don't do white music (Nope)
I make FIGHT music for high school kids
Put lives at risk when I drive like this
I put wives at risk with a knife like this
Shit, you probably think I'm in your tape deck now
I'm in the back seat of your truck with duct tape stretched out
Ducked the fuck way down, waiting to straight jump out
Put it over your mouth, and grab you by the face, what now?
Oh, you want me to watch my mouth? How?
Take my fucking eyeballs out and turn them around?
Look, I'll burn your fuckin' house down, circle around
And hit the hydrants so you can't put your burning furniture out
(Oh my God, oh my God)
I'm sorry there must be a mix-up
You want me to fix-up lyrics while our President gets his dick sucked?
Fuck that! Take drugs! Rape sluts!
Make fun of gay clubs! Men who wear makeup!
Get aware! Wake up! Get a sense of humor!
Quit tryin' to censor music
This is for your kid's amusement (The kids!)
But don't blame me when little Eric jumps off of the terrace
You should've been watching him
Apparently you ain't parents

I never knew I
Knew I would get this big
I never knew I'd
Knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd
Get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd
Get him to hit this bitch

I never knew I
Knew I would get this big
I never knew I'd
Knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd
Get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd
Get him to hit this bitch

So who's bringing the guns in this country?
(Hmm!)
I couldn't sneak a plastic pellet gun through customs over in London
And last week I seen this Schwarzenegger movie
Where he's shooting all sorts of motherfuckers with an uzi
I see these three little kids up in the front row
Screaming "Go!" with their 17-year old uncle
I'm like guidance?
Ain't they got the same moms and dads?
Who got mad when I asked if they like violence?
And told me that my tape got 'em to swear
What about the makeup
You allowed your twelve-year old daughter to wear?
(Hmm!)
So tell me that your son doesn't know any cuss words
*When this bus driver's screaming at him, fucking him up worse"
(Sit down you little fucking prick)
And fuck was the first word I ever learned
Up in the third grade flipping the gym teacher the bird (Look!)
So read up 'bout how I used to get beat up
Peed on, be on free lunch, and change schools every three months
My life's like kinda what my wife's like (What?)
Fucked up after I beat her fucking ass every night, Ike
So how much easier would life be
If nineteen million motherfuckers grew to be just like me cause

I never knew I
Knew I would get this big
I never knew I'd
Knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd
Get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd
Get him to hit this bitch

I never knew I
Knew I would get this big
I never knew I'd
Knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd
Get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd
Get him to hit this bitch

I never knew I, knew I
Have a new house or a new car
Couple years ago I was more poorer than you are
I don't got that bad of a mouth do I?
Fuck, shit, ass, bitch, cunt, shoobie-a-doo-wap
(Woops!)
Skee-bee-ba-bee-wop, on Christopher Reeves
Sonny Bono, skis whores and hittin' some trees
(Hey!)
How many retards will listen to me?
And run in the school shooting when they're pissed at the teacher
Her or him, is it you? Is it him?
Wasn't me, Slim Shady said to do it again
Damn, how much damage can you do with a pen?
Man, I'm just as fucked up as you would've been
If you would've been in my shoes, who would've thought?
Slim Shady would've been something that you would've bought
That would've made you get a gun and shoot at a cop
I just said it I didn't know if you did it or not cause

I never knew I
Knew I would get this big
I never knew I'd
Knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd
Get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd
Get him to hit this bitch

I never knew I
Knew I would get this big
I never knew I'd
Knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd
Get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd
Get him to hit this bitch

How the fuck was I supposed to know?


[06] __ Steve Berman (skit)

Eminem: Hey!
Steve: Hey, Em, what's up?
Eminem: Steve Berman, what's goin' on man?
Hoow you doin'? Good to see you again, what's up?
Steve: Em, could you come here and have a seat please?
Eminem: Umm, yeah, what's?
Steve: Vannessa, shut the door
Vanessa: Okay.
Eminem: So what's up? How's orders looking for the first week?
Steve: It would be better if you gave me nothing at all
Eminem: What?
Steve: This album is less than nothing
I can't sell this fucking record!
Eminem: What?
Steve: Do you know what's happening to me out there?
Eminem: Wha-what's the problem?
Steve: Valent Ground told me to go fuck myself!
Eminem: Who's Valent?...
Steve: Tower Records told me to shove this record up my ass!
Do you know what it feels like to be told to have a record shoved up your ass?
Eminem: But, I ...
Steve: I'm gonna lose my fuckin' job over this
Do you know why Dre's record was so successful?
He's rappin' about big-screen TV's, blunts, 40's and bitches
You're rappin' about homosexuals and Vicadin
Eminem: I mean ...
Steve: I can't sell this shit!
Eminem: What?
Steve: Either change the record or it's not coming out!
Eminem: What? I ...
Steve: Now get the fuck out of my office!
Eminem: What am I supposed?
Steve: Now!
Eminem: Alright man


[07] __The Way I Am

Whatever ...
Dre just let it run ...
Ay yo, turn the beat up a little bit ...
Ay yo ... this song is for anyone ...
Fuck it ... just shut up and listen
Ay yo
I sit back with this pack of zigzags
And this bag of this weed
It gives me the shit needed to be
The most meanest emcee on this - on this earth
Cause since birth I've been cursed with this curse to just cursed
And just blurt this bezerk and bizarre shit that works
And it sells and it helps in its self
To relieve all this tension dispensing me
Sentence is getting it, stress has been eating me recently
All through this chest and I rest to get peacefully
But at least have the decency in you to leave me alone
When you freaks see me out in the streets when I'm eating or feedin' my daughter
To not come and speak to me
I don't know you and no I don't owe you a motherfuckin thing
I'm not Mr. NSYNC and I'm not what your friends think
I'm not Mr. Friendly
I can be a prick, if you tip me my tank is on empty
No patience is in me and if you offend me I'm lifting you ten feet
In the air, I don't care who was there and who saw me just jaw you
Go call you a lawyer file you a lawsuit
I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe
I'm tired of arguing - I don't mean to mean but it's all I can be
It's just me

And I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam

Cause I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am

Sometimes I just feel like my father, I hate to be bothered
With all of this nonsense it's constant
And "oh it's just lyrical content!"
The song "Guilty Conscience" has gotten such rotten responses
And all of this controversy circles me
And it seems like the media immediately points a finger at me
So I point one back at 'em
But not the index or the pinky or the ring or the thumb
It's the one you put up when you don't give a fuck
When you won't just put up with the bullshit they pull
Cause they full of shit too
When a dude's gettin bullied and shoots up your school
And they blame it on Marilyn - and the heroin
Where were the parents at?
And look at where it's at middle America
Now it's a tragedy
Now it's so sad to see
An upper class city having this happening
Then attack Eminem cause I rap this way
But I'm glad cause they feed me the fuel
That I need for the fire to burn and it's burnin' and I have returned

And I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam

Cause I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am

I'm so sick and tired of being admired
That I wish that I would just die or get fired
And drop from my label and stop with the fables
I'm not gonna be able to top what my name is
And pigeon holdin' to some poppy sensations
They cop me rotation at Rock 'N' Roll stations
And I just do not have the patience
To deal with this cocky Caucasians
Who think I'm some wigga who just tries to be black
Cause I talk with an accent and grab on my balls
So they always keep asking the same fucking questions
What school did I go to?
What hood I grew up in?
The why? The who, what?
When and where and the how?
Till I'm grabbing my hair and I'm tearing it out
You've been driving me crazy, I can't take it
I'm racing, I'm pacing, I stand and I sit
And I'm thankful for every fan that I get
But I can't take a shit in the bathroom
Without someone standing by it
No I won't sign your autograph
You can call me an asshole
I'm glad cause I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam

Cause I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am


[08] __ The Real Slim Shady

(Talking)
May I have your attention please,
may I have your attention please,
will the real slim shady please stand up, I repeat
will the real slim shady please stand up ...
we're gonna have a problem here ...

(Verse 1)
Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before
jaws all on the floor
like pam and tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first were divorced
throwing her over furniture (aaaaaah)
It's the return of the...
"awww..wait, no wait, you're kidding,
he didn't just say what I think he did,
did he?"
and Dr. Dre said...
nothing you idiots, Dr Dre's dead
he's locked in my bassment
feminist women love eminem
chicka chicka chicka slim shady,
"I'm sick of him, lookit him
walkin around, grabbin his you know what
flippin' to you know who"
"yeah, but he's so cute though"
yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
but no worse than what's goin on in your parents bedroom (eheheheh)
sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose
but cant, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
My bum is on your lips, My bum is on your lips
and if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
and that's the message that we deliver to little kids
and expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
by the time they hit 4th grade
they got the discovery channel, dont they?
we ain't nothing but mammals
well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantelopes
but if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
but if you feel like I feel, I got the antedote
women wave your pantehose, sing the chorus and it goes..............

(Chorus)
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

(Verse 2)
Will Smith don't got to cuss in his raps to sell records
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too
you think I give a damn about a grammy
half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"but slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird"
why? so you guys can just lie to get me here
so you can sit me here next to britney spears
shit,Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear em argue over who she gave head to first
little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
"yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee hee"
I should download her audio on MP3
and show the world how you gave eminem VD (aaaaaah)
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you
and there's a million of us just like me
who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing, but not quite me.................

(Chorus)
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

(Verse 3)
I'm like a head trip to listen to
cause I'm only givin you things
you joke about with your friends inside you livin' room
the only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of ya'll and I aint gotta be false or sugar coated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it (riiip)
I just shit it better than 90% you rappers out can
then you wonder how can
kids eat up these albums like valiums
it's funny,cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with jergen's
and I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of viagra isn't working
in every single person there's a slim shady lurkin
he could be workin at burger king, spittin on your onion rings
or in the parking lot, circling, screamin I dont give a fuck
with his windows down and his system up
so will the real shady please stand up
and put 1 of those fingers on each hand up
and be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and 1 more time, loud as you can, how does it go? .................

(Chorus)
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

(Talking)
haha guess it's a slim shady in all of us........ fuck it let's all stand up


[09] __Remember Me? > Featuring RBX and Sticky Fingaz

[RBX]
Remember me? ("Seven executions")
Remember me? ("I have no remorse")
Remember me? ("I'm 'High Powered'")
Remember me? ("I drop bombs like Hiroshima")

For this one it's the X, you retarded?
Cause I grab the mic and get DOWN, like Syndrome
Hide and roam into the masses, without boundaries
which qualifies me for the term "universal"
Without no rehearsal, I leak words that's controversial
Like I'm not, the one you wanna contest, see
cause I'll hit yo' ass like the train did that bitch
that got "Banned From TV" -- heavyweight hitter
Hit you watch your whole head split up
Loco-is-the-motion, we comin through
Hollow tips is the lead, the .45 threw

[Sticky Fingaz]
Remember me? ("Throw ya gunz in the air!")
Remember me? ("Slam! Slam!")
Remember me? ("Nigga 'Bacdafucup'")
Remember me? ("Chka-chka-Onyx!")

Niggaz that take no for an answer, get told no
Yeah I been told no but it was more like, "No, no, no!!!"
Life a bitch that'll fuck you if you let her
Better come better than better to be a competitor
this vet is ahead of,
The shit is all redder, you deader and deader
A medic instead-a the cheddars and credda
Settle vendetta one metal beretta from ghetto to ghetto
Evidence? NOPE! Never leave a shred-of
I got the soul of every rapper in me, love me or hate me
My moms got raped by the industry and made me
I'm the illest nigga ever, I told you
I get more pussy than them dyke bitches Total
Want beef, nigga? PBBT! You better dead that shit
My name should be "Can't-Believe-That-Nigga-Said-That-Shit"
Probably sayin, "He ain't a killer", but I'm killin myself
Smoke death, fuck bitches raw, on the kitchen floor
So think what I'ma do to you, have done to you
Got niggaz in my hood who'd do that shit for a blunt or two
What you wanna do, cocksuckers? We glock busters
'Til the cops cuff us, we'll start ruckus and drop blockbusters
'Round the clock hustlers, you cannot touch us
I'm gettin wires niggaz wantin me dead, wantin my head
You think it could be somethin I said? {*echoes*}

[Eminem]
Remember me? ("I just don't give a fuck!")
Remember me? ("Yeah, fuck you too!")
Remember me? ("I'm low down and I'm shifty!")
Remember me? ("I'm Shady!")

When I go out, I'ma go out shootin
I don't mean when I die, I mean when I go out to the club, stupid
I'm tryin to clear up my fuckin' image,
so I promised the fuckin critics
I wouldn't say "fuckin" for six minutes
(*click* Six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on)
My baby's mom, bitch made me an angry blonde
So I made me a song, killed her and put Hailie on
I may be wrong, I keep thinkin these crazy thoughts
in my cranium, but I'm stuck with a crazy mom
("Is she really on as much dope as you say she's on?")
Came home, and somebody musta broke in the back window
and stole two loaded machine guns and both of my trenchcoats
Sick sick dreams of picnic scenes, two kids, sixteen
with M-16's and ten clips each
And them shits reach through six kids each
And Slim gets blamed in Bill Clint's speech to fix these streets?
FUCK THAT! PBBT! Tou faggots can vanish to volcanic ash
and re-appear in hell with a can of gas, AND a match
Aftermath, Dre, grab the gat, show 'em where it's at
(What the fuck you starin at, nigga?)

Don't you remember me?!
Remember me?!!
Remember me??!
REMEMBER ME!!!!


[10] __I'm Back

Chorus: Eminem (repeat 4X)
That's why they call me Slim Shady (I'm Back)
I'm Back (I'm Back) [SLIM SHADY!] I'm Back

[Eminem]
I murder a rhyme one word at a time
You never, heard of a mind as perverted as mine
You better, get rid of that nine, it ain't gonna help
What good's it gonna do against a man that strangles himself?
I'm waitin for hell like hell shit I'm anxious as hell
Manson, you're safe in that cell, be thankful it's jail
I used to be my mommy's little angel at twelve
Thirteen I was puttin shells in a gauge on a shelf
I used to, get punked and bullied on my block
'til I cut a kitten's head off and stuck it in this kid's mailbox
{"Mom! MOM!"} I used to give a - fuck, now I could give a fuck less
What do I think of suc-cess? It sucks, too much press I'm stressed
Too much stares two breasts, too upset
It's just too much mess, I guess I must just blew up quick (yes)
Grew up quick (no) was raised right
Whatever you say is wrong, whatever I say is right
You think of my name now whenever you say, "Hi"
Became a commodity because I'm W-H-I-
-T-E, cuz MTV was so friendly to me
Can't wait 'til Kim sees me
Now is it worth it? Look at my life, how is it perfect?
Read my lips bitch, what, my mouth isn't workin?
You hear this finger? Oh it's upside down
Here, let me turn this motherfucker up right now

Chorus

[Eminem]
I take each individual degenerate's head and reach into it
just to see if he's influenced by me if he listens to music
And if he feeds into this shit he's an innocent victim
and becomes a puppet on the string of my tennis shoe
{*vocal scratches*} My name is Slim Shady
I been crazy way before radio didn't play me
The sensational {*vocal scratch "Back is the incredible!"*}
With Ken Kaniff, who just finds the men edible
It's Ken Kaniff on the, internet
Tryin to, lure your kids with him, into bed
It's a, sick world we live in these days
"Slim for Pete's sakes put down Christopher Reeve's legs!"
Geez, you guys are so sensitive
"Slim it's a touchy subject, try and just don't mention it"
Mind with no sense in it, fried to get so frenetic
whose eyes get so squinted, I'm blind from smokin 'em
with my windows tinted, with nine limos rented
Doin lines of coke in 'em, with a bunch of guys hoppin out
all high and indo scented {*inhales, exhales*}
And that's where I get my name from, that's why they call me

Chorus

[Eminem]
I take seven [----] from [---------], stand 'em all in line
Add an AK-47, a revolver, a nine
a Mack-11 and it oughta solve the problem of mine
and that's a whole school of bullies shot up all at one time
Cause (I'mmmm) Shady, they call me as crazy
as the world was over this whole Y2K thing
And by the way, N'Sync, why do they sing?
Am I the only one who realizes they stink?
Should I dye my hair pink and care what y'all think?
Lip sync and buy a bigger size of earrings?
It's why I tend to block out when I hear things
Cause all these fans screamin is makin my ears ring (AHHHH!!!)
So I just, throw up a middle finger and let it linger
longer than the rumor that I was stickin it to Christina
Cause if I ever stuck it to any singer in showbiz
it'd be Jennifer Lopez, and Puffy you know this!
I'm sorry Puff, but I don't give a fuck if this chick was my own mother
I still fuck her with no rubber and cum inside her
and have a son and a new brother at the same time
and just say that it ain't mine, what's my name?

Chorus

[Eminem {*vocal scratching*}]
Guess who's b-back, back
Gue-gue-guess who's back (Hi mom!)
{*scratch*} Guess who's back
{*scratch*} Gue {*scratch*} guess who's back
D-12 {*scratch*} Guess who's back
Gue, gue-gue-gue, guess who's back
Dr. Dre {*scratch*} Guess who's back
Back back {*scratch*} back
{*scratch*}
Slim Shady, 2001
I'm blew out from this blunt (*sighs*) fuck


[11] __Marshall Mathers

You know I just don't get it
Last year I was nobody
This year I'm sellin records
Now everyone wants to come around like I owe 'em something
What the fuck you want from me?
Ten million dollars!
Get the fuck outta here!

You see I'm just Marshall Mathers
(Marshal Mathers)
I'm just a regular guy I don't know why
All the fuss about me
(Fuss about me)
Nobody ever gave a fuck before
All they did was doubt me
(Did was doubt me)
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
And try to take shots at me
(Take shots at me)

Yo, you might see me joggin'
You might see me walkin'
You might see me walkin' a dead Rottweiler dog
With his head chopped off in the park with a spiked collar
Hollering at him cause the son of a bitch wont quit barking
Or leaning out a window with a cocked shotgun
Driving up the block in the car that they shot Pac in
Lookin for Big's killers, dressin' ridiculous
Blue and red like I don't see what the big deal is
Double barrel twelve gauge bigger than Chris Wallace
Pissed off, cause Biggie and Pac just missed all this
Watchin' all these cheap imitations get rich off em
And get dollars that should've been theirs like they switched wallets
And amidst all this Cris poppin and wrist watches
I just sit back and just watch and just get nauseous
And walk around with a empty bottle of Remi Martin
Starting shit like some 26 year old skinny Cartman
(God Damn It!)
I'm anti Backstreet and Ricky Martin
Its instincts to kill N Sync don't get me started
These fucking brats can't sing and Britney's garbage
What is this bitch retarded?
Gimme back my sixteen dollars
All I see is sissies in magazines smiling
(He-he!)
Whatever happened to wildin out and being violent
Whatever happened to catchin a good old-fashioned passionate
Ass whoopin' and getting your shoes, coat, and your hat tooken

New kids on the block suck a lot of dick
Boy/girl groups make me sick
And I can't wait till I catch all you faggots in public
I'mma love it
(Ha-ha-ha)

Vanilla Ice don't like me
(Uh-uh)
He said some shit in Vibe to spite me
(Yep!)
Then went and dyed his hair just like me
(Heh-heh)
A bunch of little kids wanna swear just like me
And run around screamin "I don't care, just bite me"
(Na-na)
I think I was put here to annoy the world
And destroy your little four-year old boy or girl
Plus I was put here to put fear in faggots who spray Faygo root beer
And call them selves clowns cause they look queer
Faggots who don't but silent gay
Claimin' Detroit, when y'all live twenty miles away
And I don't wrestle I'll knock you fuckin' faggots the fuck out
Ask them about the club they was at when they snuck out
After they ducked out the back when they saw us and bugged out
Ducked down and got paintball shot at they truck, plow
Look at y'all runnin your mouth again
When you ain't seen a fuckin' mile road South of 10
And I don't need help from D-12
To beat up two females in make up
Who may try to scratch me with Lee nails
Slim Anus! You damn right Slim Anus
I don't get fucked in mine like you two little flaming faggots

Cause I'm just Marshall Mathers
(Marshal Mathers)
I'm not a wrestler guy
I'll knock you out if you talk about me
(Talk about me)
Come and see me on the streets alone
If you assholes doubt me
(Assholes doubt me)
And if wanna run your mouth
Then come and take your best shot at me
(Best shot at me)

Is it because you love me that y'all expect so much of me?
You little groupie bitch get off me, go fuck Puffy
Now because of this blonde mop that's on top
With this fucked up head that I've got I've gone pop
The underground just spun around and did a 360
Now these kids diss me and act like some big sissies
Oh, he just did some shit with Missy
So now he thinks he's too big to do some shit with Emcee Get Busy
My fuckin' bitch mom suing for ten million
She must want a dollar for every pill I've been stealing
Shit, where the fuck you think I picked up the habit
All I had to do was go in her room and lift up her mattress
Which is it bitch Mrs. Briggs or Ms. Mathers
It doesn't matter - faggot
Talkin about how I fabricated my past
She's just aggravated I won't ejaculate in his ass
So tell me what the hell is a fella to do?
For every million I make, another relative sues
Family fighting and fussin'
Over for who wants to invite me to supper
All of a sudden I got 90 some cousins
(Hey it's me!)
A half brother and sister who never see me
Or even bothered to call me until they saw me on TV
Now everybody's so happy and proud
I'm finally allowed to set foot in my girlfriend's house
(Hey!)
And then to top it off I walk to the newsstand
And buy this cheap ass magazine with a food stamp
Skipped to the last page flipped right fast
And what do I see? A picture of my big white ass!
Ok, lemme give you motherfuckers some help
Uh here Double XL, Double XL
Now your magazine shouldn't have so much trouble to sell
Aww fuck it I'll even buy a couple myself

Cause I'm just Marshall Mathers
(Marshal Mathers)
I'm just a regular guy I don't know
All the fuss about me
(Fuss about me)
Nobody ever gave a fuck before
All they did was doubt me
(Did was doubt me)
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
And try to take shots at me
(Take shots at me)

Cause I'm just Marshall Mathers
(Marshal Mathers)
I'm just a regular guy I don't know
All the fuss about me
(Fuss about me)
Nobody ever gave a fuck before
All they did was doubt me
(Did was doubt me)
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
And try to take shots at me
(Take shots at me)


[12] __ Ken Kaniff (skit)

Uh, oh yeah
Oh, suck it
Oh, fuck you
Oh, Shaggy
Oh, this is why they call you two dope ain't it
Oh, fuck you
Oh, take it out, take it out
Oh, now give something to Jay
Oh, violent Jay
Wait don't bite it
Don't be violent with it now just suck it
Nice and slow, yeah
Oh, oh fuck yeah
You got oh
Now give it back to Shagy
He was sucking it better
Oh, now say my name
(Eminem)
Say my name
(Eminem)
WHAT?
Oh fuck you guys
Give me my dick back
Fuck you guys
If you want Eminem you can have Eminem
Fuck you guys I'm leaving
(Ken no!)
(Ken wait, oh damn)
(Nice going Shaggy)


[13] __ Drug Ballad

{laugher}
Ooh shit (ooh, hey, ooh)
Guess what?
I ain't coming in yet,
I'll come in in a minute
Ayo, this is my love song
It goes like this

Back when Mark Wallburg was Marky Mark
This is how we used to make the party start
We used to mix in with Bacardi Dark
And when it kicks in you can hardly talk
And by the sixth gin you gon' probably crawl
And you'll be sick then and you'll probably barf
And my prediction is you gon' probably fall
Either somewhere in the lobby or the hallway wall
And everything's spinnin'
You're beginning to think women are swimmin in pink linen
Again in the sink
Then in a couple of minutes that bottle of Guinness is finished
You are now allowed to officially slap bitches
You have the right to remain violent and start wildin'
Start a fight with the same guy that was smart eyein' you
Get in the car and start it and start drivin
Over the island and cause a 42 car pile up

Earth calling, pilot to co-pilot
Looking for life on this planet sir, no sign of it
All i could see is a bunch of smoke flyin
And I'm so high that I might die if I go by it
Let me out of this place I'm outta place
I'm in in outter space, I've just vanished without a trace
I'm going to a pretty place now where the flowers grow
I'll be back in an hour or so

Cause every time I go to try to leave (Whoa)
Somethin' keeps pullin on my sleeve (Whoa)
I dont wanna but I gotta stay (Whoa)
These drugs really gotta hold on me (Whoa)
Cause everytime I try ta tell 'em no (Whoa)
They won't let me ever let 'em go (Whoa)
I'm a sucker all I gotta say (Whoa)
Is drug's really gotta hold on me?

In third grade all I used to do
Was sniff glue through a tube and play rubix cube
Seventeen years later I'm as rude as you
Schemein on the first chick with the hugest boobs
I got no game and every face looks the same
They got no name so i don't need game to play
I just say whatever I want, to whoever I want
Whenever i want, wherever I want, however I want
However I do show some respect to few
This ecstacy has got me standin next to you
Gettin sentimental as fuck, spillin' guts to you
We just met but I think I'm in love with you
But you're on it too so you tell me you love me too
Wake up in the morning like "Yo what the fuck we do?"
I gotta go bitch, you know I got stuff to do
Cause if I get caught cheatin then I'm stuck with you
But in the long run these drugs are probably gonna catch up sooner or later
But fuck it I'm on one so let's enjoy
Let the X destroy your spinal chord,
So it's not a straight line no more
So we walk around lookin' like some windup dolls
Shit stickin' out of our backs like a dinosaur
Shit six hits won't even get me high no more
So bye for now I'm gonna try to find some more

Cause every time I go to try to leave (Whoa)
Somethin' keeps pullin on my sleeve (Whoa)
I dont wanna but I gotta stay (Whoa)
These drugs really gotta hold on me (Whoa)
Cause everytime I try ta tell 'em no (Whoa)
They won't let me ever let 'em go (Whoa)
I'm a sucker all I gotta say (Whoa)
Is drug's really gotta hold on me?

That's the sound of a bottle when it's hollow
When you swallow it all
Wallow and drown in your sorrow
And tomorrow your probably gonna wanna do it again
What's a little spinal fluid between you and a friend, screw it
And whats a little bit of alcohol poisoning?
And whats a little fight?
Tomorrow you'll be boys again
It's your life live it however you wanna
Marajuana is everywhere, where was you brought up?
It don't matter as long as you get where you're goin'
Cause none of this shit's gonna mean shit where we're goin
They tell you to stop but you just sit there ignorin'
Even though you wake up feelin' like shit every morning
But your young you got a lot of drugs to do
Girls to screw, parties to crash, sucks to be you
If I could take it all back now I wouldn't
I would've did more shit that people said that I shouldnt
But I'm all grown up now and upgraded
And graduated to better drugs and updated
But I still gotta a lot of growin' up to do
I still gotta whole lot of throwin' up to spew
But when it's all said and done before I know it
I'll be forty with a forty on the porch tellin stories
With a bottle of Jack, two grandkids on my lap
Babysitting for Hailey, while Hailey's out gettin shmashed

Cause every time I go to try to leave (Whoa)
Somethin' keeps pullin on my sleeve (Whoa)
I dont wanna but I gotta stay (Whoa)
These drugs really gotta hold on me (Whoa)
Cause everytime I try ta tell 'em no (Whoa)
They won't let me ever let 'em go (Whoa)
I'm a sucker all I gotta say (Whoa)
Is drug's really gotta hold on me?

Cause every time I go to try to leave (Whoa)
Somethin' keeps pullin on my sleeve (Whoa)
I dont wanna but I gotta stay (Whoa)
These drugs really gotta hold on me (Whoa)
Cause everytime I try ta tell 'em no (Whoa)
They won't let me ever let 'em go (Whoa)
I'm a sucker all I gotta say (Whoa)
Is drug's really gotta hold on me?

Drugs really got a hold on me
Really got a hold on me
Cause drugs really got a hold on me
They really got a hold on me


[14] __Amityville

(kill kill kill) Dahh-dum, dahh-dum.. dum
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum, duh-da-da-da-da (kill kill kill)
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum.. dum
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum, dumm.. (kill kill kill)

Chorus: Eminem

Mentally illll from Amityvilllle (ILLLL)
Accidentally killll your family stillll
Thinkin he won't? God-damnit he willll (HE'SSSS)
Mentally illll from Amityvilllle
** {HE'SSSS} - on repeats only **

[Eminem]
I get lifted and spit until I'm half-twisted
Feet planted and stand with a grin full of chapped lipstick {*SMACK*}
Pen full of ink, think sinful and rap sick shit
Shrink pencil me in for my last visit
Drink gin til my chin's full of splashed whiskers {*whoosh*}
Hash whiskey and ash til I slap bitches {*smack*}
Ask Bizzy, he's been here the past six years
Mash with me you'll get in imagine this

Chorus 2X

[Bizarre]
I fucked my cousin in his asshole, slit my mother's throat
{*AHHHHHHHH!*} Guess who Slim Shady just signed to Interscope?
My little sister's birthday, she'll remember me
For a gift I had ten of my boys take her virginity
{*Mmm mm mmm!*} And bitches know me as a horny ass freak
Their mother wasn't raped, I ate her pussy while she was 'sleep
Pissy-drunk, throwin up in the urinal (YOU FUCKIN HOMO!)
That's what I said at my dad's funeral

Chorus 2X

[Eminem]
That's why the city is filled with a bunch of fuckin idiots still (still)
That's why the first motherfucker poppin some shit he gets killed (killed)
That's why we don't call it Detroit, we call it Amityville ('Ville)
You can get capped after just havin a cavity filled (filled)
Ahahahaha, that's why we're crowned the murder capital still (still)
This ain't Detroit, this is motherfuckin Hamburger Hill! (Hill!)
We don't do drivebys, we park in front of houses and shoot
and when the police come we fuckin shoot it out with them too!
That's the mentality here (here) that's the reality here (here)
Did I just hear somebody say they wanna challenge me here?? (huh?)
While I'm holdin a pistol with this many calibres here?? (here??)
Got some registration and just made this shit valid this year? (year?)
Cause once I snap I can't be held accountable for my acts
and that's when accidents happen,
when a thousand bullets come at your house
and collapse the foundation around and they found you
and your family in it (AHHHHH!)
GOT DAMNIT HE MEANT IT WHEN HE TELLS YOU

Chorus 2X

Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum..


[15] __Bitch Please Part II

[Snoop](Dr. Dre)
(Yeah, what up Detroit?)
Nah-uh, nah-uh uh-uh oh no he didn't
They didn't do it again
Wha-what? What?
You shit on these niggas two times Dr. Dre?
(Oh fa'sure)
Uh-uh no
You smell dat?
This is special right here
Wha-what? Wha-what? What?
It's a toast to the boogie baby
To tha boogie oogie-oogie
Yeah ya know
What's cracking Dre?

[Dr. Dre]
Jus let me lay back and kick some mo' simplistic pimp shit
On Slim's shit, start riots like Limp Bizkit
(Limp Bizkit!)
Throw on Guilty Conscience at concerts
And watch mosh pits till motherfuckers knock each other unconscious
(That's right nigga)
Some of these crowds that Slim draws
Is rowdy as Crenshaw Boulevard when it's packed and full of cars
Some of these crowds me and Snoop draw
Is niggas from Crenshaw, from Long Beach to South Central
(Whoa!)
*Girl screams
Not these niggas again, these grown ass ignorant men
With hand triggers again (Shit)
You and what army, could harm me
D-R-E and Shady with Doggy from Long Beach
(Snoop, Eastside)
We came a long way to making these songs play
It a be a wrong move to stare at me tha wrong way
I got a long uz- and I carry it all day
Sometimes it's like a nightmare, just being An-dre
But I...

[Snoop Dogg]
Somehow someway
Hello nigga!
You know about Doggy, Snoop Dogg
Now let me cut these niggas up
And show 'em where tha fuck I'm comin' from
I get tha party crackin' with the shit that I be spittin son
Hit and run, get it done, get the funds, split and run
Got about 50 guns, and I love all of 'em the same
Bang! Bang!
Damn baby girl what's yo name?
I forgot, what'd you say it was?
Damn a nigga buzzed
(Fucked up)
Hangin' in tha club wit my nephew Eminem
(What's up Slim?)
What up cuz?
(What's up Snoop?)
The great white American hope
Done hooked up with the king of the muthafuckin' West Coast baby

[Nate Dogg]
And you really don't wanna fuck wit me
Only nigga that I trust is me
Fuck around and make me bust this heat *gunshot
[Snoop]
That's the devil, they always wanna dance

[Xzibit]
I'm the head nigga in charge
I'm watching you move
You're found dead in your garage
With 10 o'clock news coverage
Gotta love it cause I expose tha fasciad
Your little lungs is too small to hot box with God
All jokes aside come bounce wit us
Standing over you with a 12 gauge about to bust
It's like ashes to ashes and dust to dust
I might leave in a body bag but never in cuffs
So who do you trust, they just not rugged enough
When things get rough I'm in tha club shooting with Puff
*Gunshots
Bitch please, you must have a mental disease
Assume tha position and get back down on your knees come on
*Gunshots

[Nate Dogg]
And you really don't wanna fuck wit me
Only nigga that I trust is me
Fuck around and make me bust this heat *gunshot
[Snoop]
That's the devil, they always wanna dance

[Nate Dogg]
And you really don't wanna fuck wit me
Only nigga that I trust is me
Fuck around and make me bust this heat *gunshot
[Snoop]
That's the devil, they always wanna dance

[Eminem as Snoop] (Snoop)
Ah no, Big Slim Dogg, 80 pound balls
(What?)
Dick six inch long
(Huh?)
Back up in tha heesy baby
He's Shady!
(He's so crazy!)

[Eminem]
Give me tha mic, let me recite to Timothy White
Pickets outside the Interscope offices every night
What if he's right?
I'm just a criminal making a livin' off the world's misery
What in the world gives me the right?
To say what I like and walk around flippin' the bird
Livin' tha urban life like a white kid from the 'burbs
Dreamin at night and screamin' at moms schemin' to leave
Run away from home and grow to be as evil as me
I just want you all to notice me and people to see
That somewhere deep down is a decent human being in me
It just can't be found so the reason you've been seeing this me
Is cause this is me now, the recent dude is being this mean
So when you see me dressin' up like a nerd on TV
Or heard tha CD using tha fag word so freely
It's just me being me, here want me to tone it down
Suck my fuckin' dick ya faggot!
You happy now? Look here!
I start some trouble everywhere that I go
Ask tha bouncers in the club cause they know
I start some shit they throw me out the back do'
Come back and shoot the club up wit a fo-four

[Nate Dogg]
And you really don't wanna fuck wit me
Only nigga that I trust is me
Fuck around and make me bust this heat *gunshot
[Snoop]
That's the devil, they always wanna dance

[Nate Dogg]
And you really don't wanna fuck wit me
Only nigga that I trust is me
Fuck around and make me bust this heat *gunshot
[Snoop]
That's the devil, they always wanna dance

[Xzibit]
2001 and forever
Slim Shady, Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, the X to the Z, Nate Dogg
Come on yeah


[16] __Kim

[Eminem]
Aww look at daddy's baby girl
That's daddy baby
Little sleepy head
Yesterday I changed your diaper
Wiped you and powdered you.
How did you get so big?
Can't believe it now your two
Baby you're so precious
Daddy's so proud of you
Sit down bitch
If you move again I'll beat the shit out of you

[Eminem](Eminem as Kim)
(Okay)
Don't make me wake this baby
She don't need to see what I'm about to do
Quit crying bitch, why do you always make me shout at you?
How could you?
Just leave me and love him out the blue
Oh, what's a matter Kim?
Am I too loud for you?
Too bad bitch, your gonna finally hear me out this time
At first, I'm like all right
You wanna throw me out? That's fine!
But not for him to take my place, are you out you're mind?
This couch, this TV, this whole house is mine!
How could you let him sleep in our bed?
Look at Kim
Look at your husband now!
(No!)
I said look at him!
He ain't so hot now is he?
Little punk!
(Why are you doing this?)
Shut the fuck up!
(You're drunk! You're never going to get away at this!)
You think I give a fuck!
Come on we're going for a ride bitch
(No!)
Sit up front
(Well I can't just leave Haley alone, what if she wakes up?)
We'll be right back
Well I will you'll be in the trunk

So long, bitch you did me so wrong
I don't wanna go on
Living in this world without you
So long, bitch you did me so wrong
I don't wanna go on
Living in this world without you

You really fucked me Kim
You really did a number on me
Never knew me cheating on you would come back to haunt me
But we was kids then Kim, I was only 18
That was years ago
I thought we wiped the slate clean
That's fucked up!
(I love you!)
Oh God my brain is racing
(I love you!)
What are you doing?
Change the station I hate this song!
Does this look like a big joke?
(No!)
There's a four year old boy lyin' dead with a slit throat
In your living room, ha-ha
What you think I'm kiddin' you?
You loved him, didn't you?
(No!)
Bullshit you bitch don't fucking lie to me
What the fuck's this guy's problem on the side of me?
Fuck you asshole